Scratch That and HOLY SHIT!

So I travel over to Borders during lunch to pick up our audiobooks for the trip. Well, first I put in my to go order at Chevys and THEN I went to Borders. Well, Dune was 60 bucks alone and The Historian was not available. Luckily, I spotted some damn fine replacements...if not even better choices. So now we get the pleasure of listening to

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
A Scanner Darkly read by Paul Giamati
WORLD WAR Z...fuckin a.

Now check out this cast for World War Z. Carl Reiner, Alan Alda, Jurgen Prochnow, Mark Hamill, John Turturro, Rob Reiner and....HENRY FUCKING ROLLINS.

That however is NOT the HOLY SHIT moment.

I am walking towards the metro and you know how there are always a bunch of newspaper boxes and what not for free? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about with the Post Express, Car Sales and Rentals? Yeah so I'm walking towards it and I'm hit smack in the face with a new one that will be available come April 5th. Mark my words, the Washington Post's Express will take a nose dive when these are available...

THE ONION IS COMING TO DC IN PRINTED FORM.

Finally, a great spot from the Daily Show about Disney's first black princess.

Road Trip

Tonight Anita and I will be embarking on our first super long road trip which may or may not be called the Griswold's Journey Into The Heart Of Darkness...or The South. Now I can only hope that it will be free of spontaneous combustion but one can never guess what new things the South has discovered in warfare.

To answer questions, we are taking Anita's car down to Houston so she has a car down there during her Summer Associateship. It also saves us from driving it down there when we move there next spring so this may be the earliest anyone has every moved anything in preparation for a move. Luckily her parents live in Houston and the car will be at their place until we move in.

According to Google the trip is going to take approx. 21 hours or so, though we are leaving around midnight tonight and attempting a straight shot right to Houston. We will go through six states before we reach Texas, and one I will not step foot in. Yes, I promised myself that I would NEVER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER step foot in Georgia again if I could help it. I won't either, we're only in Georgia for about 17 miles or so and I've already warned Anita that we're not stopping in the state under any circumstances. Let me be frank so you don't misunderstand my words, if I step foot in Georgia I am likely to attempt to finish the job Sherman started in the Civil War.

The great news is after our successful trip to NYC, we are doing AudioBooks again. The Stephen King short story collection really helped time go by during that trip and we hope it works for this trip as well. Not the Stephen King part, just the Audiobooks. For this trip she has selected a book she has been reading, The Historian which she raves about. I however have selected a classic that actually lasts longer then the trip. I will let you guess and the clue is that she will understand now when I say the following:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

On a different note this just tickles my Scottish heritage so. St. George's Day, poop, the English, I can't wait until the Irish catch wind up this and begin buying these by the thousands if not millions.

A Reason I Got Out Of The Military

The Marine Corps has decided to limit tattoos more then they already do. They are not going to allow tattoos that are past the elbow and knee...wow. These men can go into combat, but can't do what they like with their bodies. Half the recruits may go into another service since they won't be allowed in the Marine Corps with those tats.

This is my problem with the military today and from what I understand, it has been a problem since Desert Storm. The military cares more about appearances then it does about performance. The person who looks the part gets the promotion over the person who can actually accomplish the job. Promotion is out-dated in the Army, Navy and Marine Corps. I think, though I could be wrong, that Air Force is the only service where your knowledge of your ACTUAL job affects if you get promoted or not. In the Army how competent you are at your job has no effect, you're only tested on general army knowledge.

Over half the military winds up with tattoos, it's a foregone conclusion. You know what you will find outside almost every military base in the US? Tattoo parlors and car lots. I'm not talking down the road either, we're talking a few hundred feet from the gates. In Germany you can replace the car lots with red light districts. I began getting my tattoos when I was in training and it has continued on to this day. I understand banning gang, racists and the like tattoos, but to ban ink that is almost always covered, fucking ridiculous.

For educational knowledge, here is my latest ink which was mentioned in yesterday's post.

Henry Rollins Friday

With all the craziness this week,with congress testimony, pleading the fifth, amnesia and the like I figured I'd give you all a Henry that would make you laugh your ass off...so enjoy.

Throwback Thursday

To say I have a slight obsession with the greatest TV Show ever would be an understatement. Hell, you can look at my left forearm to see that...


I'm gonna make a bigger TP post later today when I have time.

Rep. Braley vs Lurita Doane

He might as well have told her, "Let me show you my pimp hand..."



You can read always read CREWs report on Lurita Doane

Weds Wrap Around

The White House may have had reason to Carol Lam of Duke Cunningham fame. Her case is the most damaging to the notion that the attorney firings are NOT politically motivated. Apparently her ongoing investigation may have led right to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Henry Waxman gets my vote for mad dog of the 21st century. We need to clone this mother fucker and have him run congress with an iron fist. The best part, it may not fall under presidential privilege if not a part of official email server.

Tom Burka sums it up fairly nicely I think.

Berto contradicts himself...again...on a Television interview. It appears to me that this administration is going to the Bill O'Reily school of quotes, forgetting that in this day in age we have numerous sources to quote you from. Be it TV, radio, transcripts, books, stone tablets and even smoke signal.

Polls show that a majority of Americans are doing one of two things. One, they are finally pulling their heads from their ass and realizing what the Republican party is all about or two; they are just polling in major metropolitan cities now.

Even Mormons are pulling away from Dubya and the war.

Pat Tillman's Family isn't buying for one second the Army's findings about Pat Tillman's death. Who can blame them, the Army has been lying since day one about Tillman's death. The propaganda portion of the Army no doubt saw this as a publicity coup and have some kind of real hero from all of this. Of course, it never really happened that way. Of course the Army hasn't been that honest about other deaths as well.

The Interesting Thing

About the Ten on Tuesday was I went to everyone elses list who responded. I saw plenty of Lord of the Rings, Han Solo, and Clarice Starlings. There were a few Jack Sparrows, "chick flicks" and various other folks. What I liked is out of my top ten only two people had one person from my list. One person had Ash and another had The Joker, other then that I am the only person on my list that listed those characters, bully for me.

Ten on Tuesday on Wednesday

Hey it was up late yesterday so I'm just getting to it today.

Ten Movie Characters You Love
10.Stephen (David O'Hara), Braveheart
9.Paul Smecker (William Dafoe), Boondock Saints
8.James "Droz" Andrews (Jeremy Piven), PCU
7.Gunnery SGT Tom "Gunny" Highway (Clint Eastwood), Heartbreak Ridge
6.Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams (Bruce Campbell), The Evil Dead Trilogy
5.Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban), Star Trek II:The Wrath of Khan
4.Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), The Return of the Jedi
3.The Joker (Jack Nicholson), Batman
2.Hunter S. Thompson (Johnny Depp), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
1.Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), Fight Club

Wrestlemania Week PT 2

Top Five Wrestlemanias Based On My Favorite Matches

I took the Top 25 from yesterday determined what Manias those came from, took the ones with the most matches and made my top five wrestlemanias of all time, once again for me. Except for Manias 2000 and 21, where the two matches from those cards were the ONLY two good matches on the entire card and as such thrown out of competition.

5. Wrestlemania IV, Atlantic City, Trump Plaza. The only Wrestlemania to feature a tournament for the WWF title. It began with a great battle royal which really saw the first face turn for Bret Hart after losing it to the late Bad News Brown. The Ultimate Warrior made his presence known to Wrestlemania for the first time against Hercules. The tournament looked like a whos who in 80s wrestling, all it was really missing was Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes. Randy Savage showed us all how good he could be and it was a great show. I know many don't hold this opinion like I do, but I thought it stands out above the first five Wrestlemanias.

4.Wrestlemania VIII, Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, IN. When one looks at this Mania you can't help wonder, what if? This was their one chance to give the fans THE biggest match of all time, Hogan vs Flair for the title. Both men could still work at this point and it would have been something special on the biggest pro wrestling stage in the world. I'm guessing the egos of both men, but mainly Hogan, got in the way. We were treated with a great title match between Flair and Savage, which is probably a better match then what we would have got between Flair and Hogan but still. Also had the Mania debut of HBK, mind you I said HBK not Shawn Michaels. Of course Piper and Hart steal the entire show so what is there not to like...other then the eight man tag match just to get folks on the card.

3.Wrestlemania XX, Madison Sqaure Garden, NYC. The best Wrestlemania in the last five years by far. This may be the first Wrestlemania that Vince McMahon has given the fans what they actually want since Wrestlemania 15. In the sense that the people the fans actually wanted as champion and we all knew were the best wrestlers on your roster. The rest of the card may be a bit lackluster, but it does have the memorble moment where the fans stopped the show with the booing of Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg in their last match, and rightfully so. I thought the booking and match of Jericho and Christian that night is really underplayed and was almost a show stealer. The saddest thing is some fans will only remember Ultimo Dragon for him slipping on his cape this night and it is truly sad for one of the best cruiserweights ever.

2.Wrestlemania XII, Arrowhead Pond, Anahiem, CA. This Wrestlemania has the distinction of having the fewest amount of matches on a Wrestlemania ever in this history of Wrestlemania. Then again, it also had an hour long Iron Man match that took up a third of the card. I think it is underestimated because of the lack of the matches, but think of some of the moments. Other then the opener, that had great workers, every match is solid. Roddy Piper and Goldust was beautifully done by Piper actually punching Dustin. It introduced us to Steve Austin, HHH and Sable. It was the last return of the Ultimate Warrior, the farewell for Diesel, and the beginning of the end for Bret Hart. His last great World Title match, I still kick myself for not going to it.


1.Wrestlemania XVII, The Astrodome, Houston, TX. Damn, I wasn't living there at the time, but I have no doubt that they will return there one day, perhaps two years from now, that seems about the right time line. I don't know if there was a bad match on this card, maybe Chyna and Ivory, but honestly don't remember it. We all got a kick out of the Gimmick Battle Royal as it was great to hear Bobby Heenan again pre-cancer. This may mark the epitome of the attitude era of the WWE, much like Wrestlemania 8 or 6 epitomized the 80s hey day. You know how difficult it is just to have a normal show without one bad match? WRESTLEMANIA 17 MANAGED TO DO THIS.

Glenn Greenwald Chimes In

Over at Salon Glenn Greenwald has chimed in in regards to reporting today. Though this article is mainly about some reporters ties to the White House, The Drudge Report, and how many of them are now just the administration's unofficial publicists. If I had time I'd look to find what HST wrote on this very subject, and I'm pretty sure he did in his book about the 72 elections. It more or less was reminiscent of 1984 and that the moment that reporters get into bed with politicians we will never hear the real truth again. I think Mr. Greenwald sums up it how I feel, specially here in DC with the following:

There are good journalists in this country, including many who work inside the Beltway. The only reason we know about things like CIA black sites and NSA warrantless eavesdropping and domestic surveillance data bases and Walter Reed neglect is because good journalists (with the indispensable aid of whistleblowers) did their job, uncovered government wrongdoing, and then documented and reported it. Those all-too-rare examples of good reporting underscore how much our country needs real adversarial journalism.

On a separate note my co-worker and I have determined a remake of Hot For Teacher needs to be done but it should be titled Teachers Hot For Me.

Tuesday Blog Round Up

Yes, it is late in the day as I begin writing this. It hasn’t been busy at work or anything like that, but it has been a busy day of reading various blogs, articles, and other such nonsense. I like to try to bring everyone a few news stories that they may have missed since there is no longer a press who likes to actually report news. One of the stories below actually brings up this fact and we’ll discuss then. Until then, here we go.

A Smithsonian Story that reminds us just how far the corruption has gone in this administration. I don’t kid when I say that this administration is more then likely the most criminal in the history of this great nation. Reagan and Nixon were bad, but we never really uncovered anything that really went this far. DC now stands for Definite Corruption, and we’re talking on all levels.

Now wonder they can’t recruit people nowadays. I know how hard a recruiter’s job is, they have quotas they MUST meet and the times don’t make it easy. But one sure way to alienate people is to let loose like this. SGT you are a disgrace to the uniform, and I have no squabbles saying that.

Tom DeLay Godwins the Democrats. I don’t know if a man who should be in jail right now knows about Godwin’s Law or not, but apparently his new book is full of it, and not just shit. Someone needs to remind Skippy here that being prosecuted for being a criminal is not that same thing as what the Nazi’s did to the Jews.

DOJ using the 5th and I posted the question to Anita, my lovely and beautiful law student, and she can only use it when it is relevant to herself directly. She cannot use the 5th on information she may know about someone ELSE. Not sure how the questions were worded, but Lehay should know this.

Rolling Stone has a great article up about how the House Republicans are currently acting. The following is my favorite line of the entire bit:

[..]The Republicans ran Congress like a basement cock-fighting ring for more than a decade, and two months or so after they're out of power, they're already transformed into a bunch of squawking dissidents more pretentious than Rage Against the Machine.

What a shock, the administration is trying to control everything, to protect their friends, fundraisers, and basically obstruct justice. I wish we could have an investigation into whether or not the administration is guilty of obstruction, but then we have been constantly reminded lately that the prosecutors serve at “the pleasure of the president.”

The Daily Howler has a lengthy piece about our current press corps, and I really wonder if HST saw this and just became absolutely depressed. Hunter was always the journalist who wasn’t afraid to get down to the nitty gritty, do the stories others didn’t have the sack to, and write the truth as only seen through a drug induced haze. Today’s journalists are more concerned with style then substance, appearance then facts. They try telling us that they sell us this garbage because that is what the American people want, I think the emergence of blogs reporting stories and facts refute this notion. We do not want style, we desire and demand substance. You think we only want that because that is all you get us and we’re far too weak to NOT buy something. The Press Corps no longer has any backbone or testicular fortitude and that is why we all have come to the internet in an attempt to see through the shit filled haze and find the truth. After all most of us doing this growing up in the nineties and remember the adage, the truth is out there…

Wrestlemania Week

With Wrestlemania coming this weekend, I'll miss it in Houston...or should I say not watch it, not sure if there's anything to miss this year. So with that being said, I give you my Top 25 Wrestlemania matches of all time...my opinion mind you. The only official part of this list is that it is mind.

Wrestlemania Top 25 Matches

25. Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws-Mania 14 Dumpster Match for the Tag Titles. I realize this may be on the list simply because of my love for Cactus Jack, but I remember watching this match and enjoying it. Especially the true emotion you saw from Terry Funk after they won the titles.

24. Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon Mania 17 Street Fight. Father versus son, a family divided yadda yadda yadda. This saw the Van Terminator by Shane McMahon using a trash can, arguably the spot of the night.

23. Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle Mania 20 WWE Title. I put this on here because it was a nice solid match between two masters, plus the finish of the match was the most inventive since another match further down the list, but that was at Mania 8.

22. Diesel vs. The Undertaker Mania 12. I don’t think this match gets enough credit for what it is, maybe the best match between near seven foot wrestlers we may have ever seen. This is back when Kevin Nash could still wrestle without hurting himself and basically was his send off from the big stage before moving to WCW. He’d have a great match against Shawn the next month, but this should be one of his career highlights.

21. Edge and Christian vs. The Hardy Boys vs. The Dudley Boyz Mania 2000 Ladders and Tables match. Did I really put this all the way back here? Yes, I did. I’m not a spot fest kind of guy, I’d rather have a traditional match, but this did have some awesome spots and thus earns a spot on the top 25.

20. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels Mania 19. Easily the best match of the night in what most would consider a lack luster Mania. Sure, there are plenty of memorable things at that Mania, but in many ways those are not pleasurable memories. Jericho and HBK was a thing of beauty.

19. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels Mania 21. Once again Shawn Michaels and another of the top performers saves the show during another lack luster Mania. I think we all could watch an Angle HBK match every day and see something different. These are two men who bring their A game on the big stage.

18. Edge, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Kane, Christian and Shelton Benjamin Money in the Bank Mania 21, Now some of you may be wondering why I put this above Kurt and HBK from the same lack luster card, pure and simple look at that line up. The perfect line up for the first match of this kind…I guess. I mean it’s just a multiple person ladder match with special rewards, but we’ve never seen one on Mania. Shelton took the opportunity to do an amazing spot then followed it up with…a disappearing act.

17. Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage WWF Title Match Mania 8. This is one of the best lead ups to a Mania match, let alone a Mania Main Event. Savage had this before during Mania 5, and it always revolves around Elizabeth. Flair’s only Mania match (in his prime) was one to remember, with Savage looking downright insane at the end.

16. Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts Championship Tournament Mania 4. This match may surprise people by its place on the list, but I have always LOVED this match. These two men had such charisma and worked so well together it’s a shame they didn’t work more after this. To put it simply, I love watching this match and as such is here.

15.Undertaker vs. HHH Mania 17. As Dock would say, 17 was the best Wrestlemania ever. This match I think surprised a lot of people, I know it shocked me. I knew HHH could have a good match, and I knew Taker could on occasion, but never thought they’d be THIS good together.

14.The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan ICONS Match Mania 18. I’m not as big of a fan of this match as others; I will say it is the most shocking turn I’ve ever seen in a match. Sure Cena was booed and HHH was cheered, but this shit happened half way THROUGH the match. The fans flipped the roles during the match, just fuckin nuts.

13. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle Euro/IC Three Way Dance Mania 2000. You put these three men together in a match and you almost always have a match of the year candidate. It has often been said that this is the saving grace of Mania 2000, the only reason to really watch that show and I tend to agree more often then not. An interesting twist is having both titles on the line as well.

12. Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior Retirement Match Mania 7. This match is surprisingly good, especially when you consider how neurotic both men are. Warrior needs someone to hold his hand during a match and Savage is a perfectionist and wants to practice the match months in advance. In that thinking, these two were made for each other in this match.

11.The Rock vs. Steve Austin WWF Title Mania 17. Yes, I’m afraid to say that this match did not make my top ten folks. I know, shocking, but I think the finish of Austin siding with McMahon almost takes away. I think it was at Backlash the next month where they had a great match that I liked better, or it could have been the 15 one.

10. Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart Mania 10. Maybe the best match Owen Hart has ever wrestled in the WWF, though the Steel Cage match at SummerSlam that year is also up there. This shocked everyone at MSG and people took Owen seriously after that match, and it was done to perfection. A great pinning combination to beat his brother, no cheating, he gets a legit win, puts him over, just brilliant.

9. Edge and Christian vs. The Hardy Boys vs. The Dudley Boyz TLC Mania 17. The better of the two TLC matches between these teams, at least in my opinion. The spot of the spear off the top of the ladder onto the Hardy was one of the biggest spots of all time, course not shocking since that was done by a man who went head first into a table full of fire.

8. Roddy Piper vs. Bret Hart IC Title Mania 8. Remember earlier when I mentioned the best pinning predicament in Mania history that would be this match when Bret used the turnbuckle to topple over Piper who had him in a sleeper hold and pinned his shoulders to the mat…something that had never been done to Piper up to that point. Just such a great match that I think sold the powers that be that Bret could be a Main Event star.

7.Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior WWF Title Mania 6. Perhaps Hogan’s greatest accomplishment is being able to carry Warrior into one of the best matches in Mania history. It was the first time we really saw a good guy vs. good guy at Mania, and they did a great job of not having the fans split to one side. A great booking for the finish, clean, both finishers hit, both men kept their momentum.

6.The Rock vs. Steve Austin WWF Title Mania 15. The first of the three matches between arguably the two biggest stars that pro wrestling has ever seen. Yes, I did not stutter. They brought in more money during their run then anyone else, made better movies, and just as many people know who they are compared to Hulk Hogan. The difference between the three of them is that these two men could put on great matches any night of the week.

5.Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels Iron Man Match WWF Title Mania 12. Now, I have some issues with this match (which I went off on during this last Saturday’s show but I digress) with the ending. If you’re going to continue the match for five more minutes, why is Shawn Michaels NOT put back into the Sharpshooter? I thought it then, I think it now.

4.Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon Ladder Match IC Title Mania 10. Some consider this the best match of all time; I say it’s the best gimmick match of all time at a Wrestlemania. Well, a gimmick match using a specific object like a ladder, strap, etc. Razor may have never been better then during this time and HBK introduced the world to why he is the man you want on a Mania card.

3.Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat IC Title Mania 3. Before the ladder match above, many considered this the greatest match of all time, period. We’re not just talking Wrestlemania; we’re talking in the world. Now I won’t go that far, but my god is this a great match. What I would have paid to see a Steamboat, Savage and Flair three way dance during the mid-80s.

2.Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Chris Benoit Triple Threat Match World Title Mania 20. Perhaps I’m biased, maybe it’s the Horseman in me, or the fact that Benoit is that good, but my god, this had me on my feet almost the entire match. Such a good match, one that would take the world to beat it, and luckily one has. The best is seeing HHH tap out and Benoit FINALLY getting recognition, if only for a while.

1.Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart Submission Match Mania 13. Is this the match between the glory years and the new attitude era, perhaps. Bret in a way bridges the Attitude era and the old days but my god, I could watch this match once a day and never be bored. Perhaps it’s the booking of the match that makes it so good with Austin just passing out instead of giving up and building a character that would become the biggest maybe of all time. You had something for everyone, hardcore, technical, and brawling, I don’t know what else you needed in this match. The image of Austin screaming with blood coming down his face is one many wrestling fan can imagine with no problem what so ever.

The Heavy Price To Pay

OK folks, it's been a week since last week's 24 so if you don't want any spoilers stop reading now. I am about to let out some...information...and I don't need you yelling at me cause of your lazy asses. You ready, everyone here who wants to be? Good. Now then I want to discuss the price President Palmer had to pay to get Jack out and the role Audrey may or may not have had in it.

We learned that Audrey "died" in China looking for Jack. They asked for her DNA to check the corpse and all that entails. Is it possible Wayne Palmer gave them her location or something of that matter to get Jack Bauer back? Perhaps, but then again this isn't your normal run of the mill show, there's always something else going on as well.

Some theorize that the true big bad behind everything the last few years is that James Heller, friend to Jack father of Jack's latest lady is the true man behind the Blue Tooth Group, Jack's father, Logan, etc etc etc. No one really knows this, but he would be the man behind the curtain behind the man behind the curtain. So getting his daughter in exchange for Jack would be quite the coup and she would gladly give her life for Jack. We all know though that Audrey isn't dead, that's too easy.

The following are some theories of what Wayne may have given up to get Jack back...
1.Kim Bauer, Behrooz, and the radioactive corpse of George Mason, and a player to be named later

2.Randy Moss and Manny Ramirez in exchange for Jack Bauer and Jet Li.

3.The DNA of Shaq to continue building the upgrade to the Yao Ming T-1100 Model.

4.The assurance that they will not retaliate if they decide to invade Japan and the head of John the Baptist.

5. He gave them a a slayer and a the remains of a browncoat.

I know you have theories, and I'd love to hear them all. We all know Audrey isn't dead, more then likely her father picked her up just before she found Jack's location, staged her death and some other price has been given. Perhaps they have a number of political prisoners in the US? Maybe we hand Afghanistan over to them, or just look the other way as they dominate Asia?

That many possibilities, anyone else have any thoughts on the matter?

EWA Free Friday Nights

The first half of the March 16, 2007 matches

Dimebag Green vs Blood


Champ Champgane vs Drew Gulak


Jimmy Starz vs Dr. X


Bruce Chan vs Steve Desire

Best birthday message

That I received this year had to be from my friend Alex, and I quote:

How must I prepair for clint's birthday you must ask your self, should I jump off the tallest building in the world.Should I lay in The Lawn and let them run over me with lawn mowers.should I go to Africa and let 'em trample me with raging elephants.

Clint right now you know the power of the ultimate warrior is something you wana feel that you wanna taste something that you know is going to be exciting and it might even be a little bit frightening. because this freak of nature right here is just starting to swell. and when i get big enough brotha there ain't gonna be room for anybody else but me and all the warriors floating through the veins and the power of the WARRIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Henry Rollins Friday pt. 2

See, I had been saying this for a few years and that's why Anita and I work...because she is one.

Henry Rollins Friday pt. 1

This more or less is how I felt to majority of the morning today driving to work

Birthday Linkage

Yeah, works been hell today. Co-worker left at noon because his new big screen TV was arriving on MY birthday. I've been finishing work that I was told wasn't going to be needed done today...and then was promptly read the riot act cause it wasn't done. So here are some various links for folks to peruse today.

OK, this made me feel better during lunch.
Daily Show, Reasonable Proposal
Trust me, last night's daily show, watch it

Info for those whose animals died recently
Class Action Lawsuit time

Avenue Q doesn't have to change a song after all
Court strikes down porn law

John McCain is dead, I think this is a robot
Any other explanation?

No more secret about the 1984 ad
Dems always eat each other

This has to be against the law
Enron, Haliburton and Chevron are not just the administrations' friend

Throwback Thursday Birthday Edition

I'm going to post some videos of items that have been included in past birthday glory, questions are welcome since some you may have questions on.

The pissed on my fucking rug!


Ninja, NInja, Rap...go ninja go ninja go...

BTW, best episode EVER of Top Model last night. House of Ninja? Where do I get an application?!



One of the best promos ever



Just a funny story...

A Very Very Birthday To Me To Me

Yes, the day has arrived, one shared by Will Shatner, Reese Witherspoon, Andrew Lloyd Weber and Steve Sondheim. It definitely got off to a great start as Anita gave me the best gift EVER shortly after midnight. Words cannot express how BADLY I have wanted this item. This morning I was allowed to open another item, which was absolutely fantastic... clothing that I would definitely wear. Of course when I got home yesterday I received part of my gifts from my parents.

I walk into my room and here this HUGE box, nearly as tall as me. I open it up and there is a note wondering if this is for Anita and I to sit on at the mall during the summer? So I called her up to inform her that this item is simply for tailgating purposes. Yes, of course the chairs are Cleveland Browns, would I have it any other way? We are now officially set up for our April 3rd Nats Night opener.

Today has been a good day, if you took work away. The co-worker is somehow out the majority of the day, leaving me alone while Jaba is on the rampage. Some of the stupid people are back and I wish I wasn't here on my birthday. I may try to sneak out and go pick up the MiniDV tapes for this weekend's show, but we'll see if I can work that. I would just like to thank everyone who has sent their birthday wishes, it's much appreciated.

They Year That Was 27

With the impending event of my birthday tomorrow I figured I'd review a few things that happened to me in my 27th year, one that ranks as one of if not the top year in my life. I've had a generally good life, but this past year went above and beyond of what it had to do. I don't know if another year could top it, but the year 29 is looking to be the most life changing at least.

We begun the year with a Wrestlemania that pissed many of us off who were watching it. Here comes HHH, dressed as Conan The Barbarian in one of the most kick ass entrances ever. I mark out huge when CM Punk is one of Cena's "gangsters". The match itself pissed us right off, you have Cena making HHH tap out? Can you not hear everyone booing Cena, how much longer are you going to stuff him down our throats? I mean come on, this match would have made the entire wrestling community happy and you shit all over us and have continued to do so and will likely do so again this year.

In April I got to see my sister get married at a lovely ceremony near the ocean in California. The true story of the day was likely my leaving during the reception and putting my kilt on to much praise. Of course the kilt received much praise from many all year long, especially at kickball where I have been known to where it on a regular basis.

Ah yes, kickball, the place where I have slowly and surely taken over. It began with becoming the DJ so that the DJ could play beer pong, this of course lead to a job there at KIT which I still do from time to time. It then continued with my writing of an editorial each week for the Ghost Man on Third newsletter that kickball puts out. It becomes the sensation of the entire division for its controversial stance on your musical taste and selection which of course I disapprove of.

From there I entered into the world of professional wrestling. It began with a stint as ring announcer and from there entered into the world of commentary and now commentary, ring announcing, time keeper...all at the same time. Yes, I am a man of many talents and I multitask better then Windows Vista. It has been a true joy to enter into the business I have so much passion for. I owe Hollywood Hamilton a great deal for giving me a chance to contribute.

The summer came and went with trips to the beach, the lake, kickball, baseball games and lord knows what else. It was an enjoyable summer as I jumped back and forth between various people as I attempted to date people and find someone who really fit me. I dated a few really nice ladies, but just not right for me. Of course I would pour out my soul on other posts wondering where is mine, but this was merely a way of getting it out of me and I was fine the next day. I don't care if it sprang up a week later, I was fine for that week. Of course I had no idea what was in store for me in August.

In August I met the love of my life, the gorgeous, brilliant, mad hot, sexy to boot, genius that is Anita. Of course she's a genius for choosing me, but then again she does quite well in the academic field as well. My life has never been happier during our time together and it's only going to get better. I plan on making this woman my wife and she knows it and for some reason isn't running away yet. She gets along with my friends, family and most importantly my brain and heart. Each day I love her more then the day before, I just don't hope this leads to explosion which could be messy for everyone.

The rest of the year flew by because I was with the woman I loved and we enjoyed so much together. Halloween, going to my first Browns game, Thanksgiving with her folks Christmas with mine. I spent New Years Eve with someone I wanted to spend time with it with. She's supported me in every venture I've taken on, even comes to the wrestling shows to watch. Don't be surprised if this time next year I'm talking about certain...preparations.

27 was a great year, 28 will start off great with someone who is treating my birthday like it is a special occasion. I really haven't had that since my surprise party in Germany in 2001. Each and every day will get better, even if someone is running off to Houston for 12 weeks and I won't have her to sleep next to. Means I have to distract myself with wrestling, kickball, softball and many other ways...but nothing will make me forget who I love and who I'm faithful to.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.-George Burns

Wrestling and Roids

Apparently the world of professional wrestling is back under the interrogation spotlight due to this latest steroid ring. SI is reporting that many wrestlers used this service, and as many as eleven "big name" wrestlers have been named. Initially Kurt Angle was the only name released but I feel that had more to do with him being an Olympic Gold Medalist then a pro wrestler. This isn't the first time there has been a steroid scandal in wrestling.

You think many in the industry would learn from Superstar Billy Graham, but through the years apparently we never learn from our mistakes. I could go on how this is not just limited to pro wrestling, especially when looking at Nam errrr I mean Iraq. Some of the names listed in this scandal are Edge, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Randy Orton and sadly Shane Helms.

Now some are no real surprises, everyone knew Eddie was on the juice and people pretty much assumed Rey Mysterio was too after his body transformation. Randy Orton has had drug problems in the past, and Edge needed to do something to get to that next level. In the same sense I get why Shane Helms did it (if it's true), you can only be considered a gimmick so long until you want to move on...unless you're Doink. Am I disappointed if it's true about Shane Helms, very much so, this is a man who wrote back to me when I was younger about what it takes to get into wrestling. I have met the man, he's a great person and I thought a great role model for kids. I don't want to pass judgement on the man, but at the same time I am not surprised that he did this if he did it.

I'm not naive to think that even in the EWA that we don't have someone in the locker room who is on the juice. Hell, I'm 90% certain we do have someone in the locker room who juices. I also understand the desire by pro wrestlers and other athletes to juice. In the world today with so much parity one must go the extra mile to get ahead and not everyone has the natural god given ability athletically. If you want even a sniff of the WWE you need to resemble a greek god, be some kind of physical freak (see Viscera/Great Khali), or just be so on top of your game that they call you. Even then they may just bury you against others who shouldn't even sniff your jock strap (see CM Punk).

I don't condone what they do, I can understand the desire to follow your passion, to reach for that paycheck, to be bigger then you are now. Some folks no matter how hard they work out will not get bigger then a certain level, it's simple genetics. I won't lie, I've even thought about going on the juice just so I could follow my dream. I think any person who is dying to do something has thought about it. I am just thankful my father was such a good parent, as I would never do more then think about it.

The saddest thing in all of this is that it will not deter the next person to try it. You could have all the tools to get to that next level, you're just missing power. You know why you juice, because if you don't the guy behind you or beside you will and take your spot. Until we can completely eliminate the possibility of passing a drug test, specially with HGH, this will continue. Sadly it's a HUGE industry and the advances in passing test happen faster then making tests that can determine if you're on it or not. We also need to be MUCH stricter against taking it. I would be completely for a lifetime ban from your sport if you're caught, if betting on games gets you a life time game, why not steroids and HGH?

Now the WWE has made progress in this area, they have a Talent Wellness Program. They were quick to point out that the drugs bought by these wrestlers happened before the program was implemented. They also rule out online doctors as a valid medical source which tells me they found out about this scandal before reporters. As bad as the WWE has been in the most recent years, this may be the best move they've ever made, specially with all the deaths we've seen in the last month.

Yar...

This looks fucking awesome.

They look like they went all out on this one.

May not be many updates since I'm a Destructicon today in the office so enjoy Pirates in the meantime.

MadTV

I've never been that much of a fan of theirs, but they do have amusing bits every now and then. Apparently this weekend they were like Reggie Jackson during the World Series, just knocking one thing after another out of the park.

The iRack

Are You Smarter Then Alberto Gonzalez

Weekend Warriors

Warrior: "You need to open your eyes and ears, take control of the limited ability you have to understand the words I am about to say. For years, I have watched while this industry, with you as it’s figurehead, try to recreate what is simply unrecreatable. I have heard, listened to all the innuendos and speculation that something ULTIMATE or WARRIOR may soon re-appear. Welcome to the reappearance! Those things, Hogan, which are irreplaceable, whether they be people, places, or things, are never forgotten. You are witnessing that RIGHT NOW!

I would have quoted another Warrior promo, but that was the only one I could find on short notice. Why am I quoting Warrior this Monday morning, no real reason. I named the title of this entry as Weekend Warriors and the first thought that I had was to put up a picture of The Ultimate Warrior. After putting up this picture, which I believe is from his third run during the mid nineties, I wanted one of his bat shit crazy promos and only found this piece from his initial debut from WCW. Then again if you want to watch various clips go over and check out a clip from the Self-Destruction DVD

So then yes, the weekend that was Saint Pattys Day weekend honestly was one of the more the sublime and enjoyable weekends in recent memory. Friday night was the EWA's Free Friday Night Fights which more or less turned into a regular show. We had plenty of matches and it was damn close to two hours long. We had a great match for the main event, many solid matches for the card, and it also included the match of the year (inside joke, ask if you want to know). Of course I luckily made it there on time, especially seeing that it took me two and a half hours to make an hour drive. Yes, the traffic gods were back out in force since winter wasn't giving up without a fight. I was also not prepared for after the show when I walked out to my car and found out The Executor had been turned into an ice cube. That's right folks, I was at the show for three hours and in the time the outside had turned into Hoth.

Saturday we (Anita and I) were supposed to join the march on the Pentagon. We decided that due to the outside weather we would merely stay at home, do some cleaning, study and accomplish other things. Maybe we're bad people, but we live in DC and make our thoughts known on a regular basis. It looked like there were more then enough people there to make a statement, besides it was St. P's day and we needed to prepare for that evening. The amusing thing is that the news keeps saying there were thousands of anti-protester protesters and yet whenever I see photos or film there seems to be...thirty.

That night we attended a friend's annual SPD party at their apartment and a good time was had. We even managed to get Dorthy (my new roommate from NJ/PA) out of the apartment for once to expand and socialize, which she did successfully. We met a nice couple, and I spent a good portion of the night explaining to the folks what Jesus Camp was about and I believe most of them will take some time this week to rent the movie, which is what everyone should do if you really want to see how badly some of the right are getting. I think I sold them based on me telling them about the following clip...


Sunday I took the time to educate Anita in what we call The Continuing Education of Anita When It Comes To Great Movies. Sunday we continued with her Batman education by showing her Batman Begins, to which she loved. Much like many others, and I am one of them, she thought Batman Begins was better then Batman and Batman Returns. From there I need to work on the DVD from February's show so she laid down and we gave her a taste of John Carpenter in the form of The Thing. I'll forgive her for thinking that Kurt Russell was Patrick Swayze in the beginning, he was young and scruffy in that movie. We ended the lesson with Waiting... the under appreciated comedy starting Ryan Reynolds, the chick from Scary Movie, the kid from The Mac Commercials and...Dane Cook. She worked in a restaurant very similar to the one in the movie and such spent most of the movie connecting with it on a much deeper level then others, the kind that only people who have witnessed that horror can understand.

That sums up the weekend, and I'm quite proud that I've been able to include a link to something in each paragraph above, quite an accomplishment since most of the time I am lazy in that area. Come on in where Nightmares are the best part of my day!!!...sorry, watching that Warrior clip. Just reminds me how I wish I was just batshit crazy and could go off on a complete tangent where no one understood anything that I said. Then again, many would claim that this is what this blog is...

MY GOD?! WHAT'S FALLING FROM THE SKY?!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

Yes, that is what I imagine most drivers last night were thinking in their heads here in the greater DC Metro area. You see we've been having spring weather for the last week and yesterday was the beginning of Winter's last hurah. As such it began to rain some time in the afternoon, nothing to shocking yes? Well apparently I was wrong, as it is means for mass crisis and to forget every lil thing your father, teacher, instructor, best friend's hamster taught you about driving.

Driving home after work wasn't that bad, not as nice as it had been, but still not that bad. I left at 7:30 to go pick up Anita from class and I was in no way prepared for what I was about to experience. As I entered onto 395 North I encountered...traffic. Wait, what?! What in the hell is there traffic doing on 395 North at 8 at night?! There seemed to be no accident (other then the one I passed thanks for getting out of the middle lane btw there were no marks on your porsche ass). I finally managed to get to Anita (who was NOT pleased) and eventually make it to Silver Spring.

I don't know what it is about this area, but they remind me of the Canadians in Clerks Animated. It's nothing evil, it's only rain folks. It's not going to kill you, yeah be safer but driving twenty five in a fifty five is NOT safer. If you can't see out your windshield please move to the slow lane and take better of your car assclowns. I CAN NOT WAIT TO LEAVE THIS FUCKING CITY WHEN IT RAINS.

Henry Rollins Friday

With the uproar last weekend or so over Andy Coultre and his use of a certain word I give to you Henry's letter to Andy...

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. -HST

Alright, I'll admit right now that I have been somewhat absent when it comes to talking about the various political shit storm that has brewing in this country for the last few weeks. I think I figure a good portion of you go out to C&L, ShakesSis, Reason or any other plethora of blogs to get your daily political bullshit. I know back during the election time I tended to rant and rave politics, policy and election but I suppose it may have just been a way for me to try to get some of you off your collective asses, rally, vote, do something so I don't have to since my only plans is to burn everything down to the foundation and start fresh. Well, maybe not everything I'd leave Yellowstone and Yosemite intact, but then they are some of the most beautiful places on this planet.

I know were turned off by the ranting and raving so I tried to go a different route, I tried to talk about things other blogs don't talk about. I tried to be an amalgam of various things as I had no desire to become a member of Edwards' staff, though you'd be damned to see me cave in to those assholes from Fox. In case you're listening Brit Humme, Chris Wallace, Billzzaro, Andy Coultre, Michelle Malkins and Sean Hannity bring all the verbal tirades you want to bring against me. Call me every name in the book, harass me, my friends, my family and my neighbors bedpost that rocks for twenty seconds every night. I will flat out tell you my opinion and I will be damned if you're going to attempt to make me feel bad, embarrassed or anything I don't want to feel. Hell, I'd take an open invitation to your studio for an interview. Then I would have to recreate the infamous night that Brian Pillman debuted in ECW.

Did I ever write that I had a problem with Catholicism, you're god damned right I did. Do I have a problem with organized religion, I guess one would be wise to make that assumption. Do I hate all Christians, certainly not I love my family. Do I believe a great deal of you are more dangerous then terrorists? A hundred fuckin percent and then some. Personally, there's not enough bullets for what I would like to do to a great many of you, and none of it involves murder or assassination, that's what you and yours propagate.

Now then, where to begin on the latest political happenings in the world? I mean there are so many choices, we could talk about the 8 attorney firings which I covered back in the summer when it first came to light but the MSM took their sweet time to pay attention to it. How with each and every day it looks more and more like political actions, and in one case (Carol Lam) where it becomes more and more obvious to me that the Department of Justice obstructed justice to protect some of their friends. Is Berto Gonzo going to resign, without a doubt. Though I would much rather him resign over treating the Constitution like toilet paper then over the attorney debacle.

Then you have General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joints Chief who evidently has a problem with homosexuality. That's nice, there's a good portion of the population who actually WANT to serve in the military when they need it most so they don't keep sending back troops who are physically unfit to fight back to Iraq. According to Gen. Pace he doesn't believe in immorality, and that's why we are fighting for for people to have morals and principles. Really...wow...cause you know one cannot have morals or principles without fighting for them. Morals and principles have always been then main thing crushed by dictators, what was I thinking.

I mean I very well could continue to go on and on about the continual bullshit that this administration is dishing out. If you would like, I know Anita and I are planning this and I'd like to invite everyone out to join us as we March on the Pentagon.

The difference between today and yesteryear

I just gave you Dominique's Top Ten Dunks of all time (of whenever that video was produced) and in contrast here is Vince Carter's Top Ten (up to the point of the video)


The problem, Wilkins always was dunking with the entire opposing team around him. Carter seems to only dunk when he is completely and utterly alone. I think may sum up why I no longer can watch the NBA.

Throwback Thursday

For March Madness that begins today (Texas over Kansas in the finals 80-79) I give to you my favorite basketball player of all time...

Damned Shriveled Monkey Penis

This is the Nevada Union High School Miners, my father's first head coach position, the first team I ever loved. Sure I was around my mother's Alma mater at a very young age, but I don't remember too much of that. I remember vividly Miner Football and what would become "Miner Magic". NU has a rich football tradition that we were more then happy to be a part of. Hell, my father doesn't lie when he says we had a love affair with that place. For the longest time I wanted to get married in the most gorgeous stadium I've ever been in and I've been on the sidelines of the Rose Bowl. Of course that was before my sister informed me that it may not be the best idea after her and old flame did on the fifty yard line back in her single days.

The one regret I have in this life is I never got to adorn the uniform in high school or at the very least get to play in that stadium. I remember almost pleading with my father to get with D.H. for us to go up there and play, but it never would come about. D.H. for the most part has been coaching in the shadow of my father ever since we left, even after he won championships and at the time couldn't handle to pressure of losing to my father at home so no game for me in Hooper Stadium. I do hope that one day I will get a chance to coach in Hooper Stadium, but we shall see if that day ever comes to pass.

With all that in mind I received a...disturbing email from my mother today.

I don't know if you have talked with [sister] but we are really considering going to Placer High. Your Uncle [Aunt's ex-husband] has really laid on the pressure. It would be nice to go back up to the mountains.

I agree on one point, it would be nice to go back up to the mountains. My father always called it God's country and it really was. It probably has more to do with why I love the mountains over the beach more then anything. The problem I have is with the notion of going to Placer High School. You must understand something, Placer is where I learned HATE from. These balless bastards had the audacity to end one of the most storied rivalries in the state of California, mainly because we made them our personal bitch.

Placer versus Nevada Union was a rivalry that dated back to, well read the article you'll see how far it went back. My dad came to town and used his pimp hand on these Hillmen and they hid in their caves. They wanted out of the big league but promised to keep the feud, we would still be on our schedule. Well, they get out of the league and the next thing you know we're no longer on their schedule. Those gutless cocksuckers ran from us and to this day I don't believe they play us. So yes, I have a problem with my family going to save their football program. As far as I'm concerned they can sit at the bottom of the pile and get chlamydia, you hear that Hillmen, get the clap.

No, there is no lingering resentment what so ever from this, I'm perfectly stable...

A trained ape could not teach gym

Yesterday I decided to stop wasting an insane amount of money every week and start to go back to the gym. Now it would be fair to say that the upcoming softball and kickball seasons due have a good deal to do with this. (Music break...MORRIS DAY AND THE TIME JUNGLE LOVE!!! OHEOHEOH) Of course I believe the biggest part of me getting back in the gym would be my fat ass. Well, not percisley my ass but this thing that seems to be protruding where my stomach used to be.

Once I got over 200 pounds I began to get a gut, it's just the way my genetics works judging by my family members. Well, I'm far above 200 pounds at this point and need to reduce this quickly. I cannot stand being this fat anymore and as such I am going back to the gym on a regular basis. Luckily I do know what I have to do to lose weight, gain strength and the like, it's just a matter of me not being so god damn lazy.

A weird thing did occur my first day back at the gym however. I walked into the Men's locker room and in the lil waiting area type deal this man was standing almost nose to nose with the elevated television. He had nothing but a towel around his neck and thankfully one around his waist. He was probably in his 40s, bald, hand on the televsion changing channels. I changed, worked out, and came back in to the locker room...but time must have stopped. You see, this man was still in front of the television, changing channels, towel outfit, actually I don't know if he had moved in over an hour. To say the least it was a bit disturbing, I wonder if he'll still be there when I show up tonight...

Birthday Meme

Well, since my birthday is a week from tomorrow I figured I'd do this lil meme, so enjoy.

Notable Historic Events
1765 - The Parliament of Great Britain passed the Stamp Act, which introduced a tax to be levied directly on its American colonies.
1933 - President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signs into law a bill legalizing the sale of beer and wine.
1993 - The Intel Corporation ships the first Pentium chips (80586), featuring a 60 MHz clock speed, 100+ MIPS, and a 64 bit data path.

Notable Births
1931 - William Shatner, Canadian actor
1948 - Andrew Lloyd Webber, British composer
1952 - Bob Costas, American sports commentator

Notable Deaths
1322 - Thomas, 2nd Earl of Lancaster, English politician
1685 - Emperor Go-Sai of Japan
1832 - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer

Notable Holidays
The fourth day of Quinquatria in ancient Rome, held in honor of Minerva.
World Water Day.

Shamrock Fest 2007

I would like to formally warn everyone right now for what I am about to write here in the Asylum. You see I spent the majority of this morning, when not catching up with other blogs and doing work, watching Brian Pillman promos from ECW. If any of you know pro wrestling what so ever and know what Pillman was like during that time you can get a kind of handle of what state my mind is currently. So I wish to apologize to anyone who I may offend with this post in which I will execute my Constitutional Rights on.

Shamrock Fest, a day long affair of bands, beer, good food and good friends. This is true for the most part there was plenty of bands, beer, food and good friends to be had last Saturday afternoon. Overall I had a more enjoyable time, and I think it was wise for them to have moved the event to the RFK parking lot/tailgating area. It was helpful for me to show my people where we tailgate on a regular basis so they know where to find us on April 3rd, that is if they remember. I was sad that I was not able to get to the location do to the DC 101 Stage 2 being in the way, but hey those are the fuckin breaks aren't they.

I enjoyed myself immensely when it came to spending time with Anita, S-tna and her new man DeezNatz. We were joined by other friends who came and went as they pleased for the most part, but the four of us were together for the most part. Of course leave it to yours truly to find the one group of Browns fans in the entire place. I overheard someone say something about Cleveland, inquired about it, and the next thing you know we were chanting here we go brownies here we go. Of course all you Redskins fans can kiss our collective asses. Yes, we were chanting for our football team outside of RFK. Yes, we were chanting for our football team in fucking March and yes we were chanting for our team without the prompting of Redskin Cheerleaders and a band playing your tired ass fight song. Why, cause as the gods are my witness we are the best god damn fans this planet has ever fucking seen.

Now I did post that there would be such bitching about Shamrock Fest and I will be a man of my word. Hell, I would hate to be called a liar and then have to go on rant about being called a liar when I wasn't lying in the first place. The issue I had was not the folks who wanted to be Irish for a day, the Notre Dame jackasses who thought it was safe to wear their gear (I was sporting my Oakland Athletic gear for the record), or the teens who kept trying to get people to buy them beer. No, my problem specifically was the beer itself and the alleged prices you were charging.

Why in the fuck is Bud Light, or shall we call it piss water cause that's what it is. Hell, my piss on a drinking day probably has more alcohol percentage in it then Bud Light. I digress, Bud Light is the only beer your serving. I understand they are a sponsor, but you were selling Red Hook in the VIP section. Oh, a special thanks to Old Man J for retrieving me a Red Hook so I had an actual beer to drink during the day. Hell, I may even understand it being only one beer to quicken the beer lines, but at least give us some other option, is this not America?

The second issue on this debacle is the god damn beer prices you charged us. FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A GOD DAMN BUD LIGHT?! What in the sam hell were you thinking? First, you give us piss water, then charge more for one cup then the price of a six pack? It is seriously FUBAR that you force me to drink that drivel, but then to rape my very soul for five bucks a cup? If there was some way to charge you with felony robbery by god I would do my damnedest to do that. Fuck you Shamrock Fest, fuck you for polluting my body with that garbage.

Other then that one exception it was a wonderful day, hell it was a fucking beautiful day out at the Shamrock Fest. A special shout out goes to the parents by Stage Two whose child had a Mohawk at the age of two or so, the kid was fucking money. A big props to Collins and all our Cleveland Cliq for pimping our team amidst other folks who could give two shits about football right now. Finally to my baby Anita who took care of me at the end of the night when the headache I had all day turned into road work inside my skull when we got home.

300

So, where should I begin with my review of 300? Let it be known here and now that I am an AVID Frank Miller fan, die hard would be a bit of a stretch, but I do tend to worship the ground Mr. Miller walks on. Hell, one of my upcoming pieces on my right arm (just above the elbow down to the forearm) comes directly from 300. So to say I had high expectations of this film would be a vast understatement. I would not be mincing words to say that it met all expectations and then some, it surpassed my expectations by leaps and bounds and then maybe used a rocket pack to go even farther then that.

I know some have decided that they didn't like the movie, I don't understand you goat fuckers but hey it's your opinion. The movie was a thing of beauty from top to bottm, left to right, side to side, horizontal and vertical. All around it may very well be the best damn action movie I have ever seen and I've seen plenty. I'm not a gore fest type person either, hell I haven't seen any of the Saws or Hostel because that's what I assume they are. Gerald Butler, who I loved as the Phantom, did exceptionally well as King Leonidas. Especially when talking to Xerxes, that sarcastic tone that you could tell was dripping off the page of the novel was dripping from the screen.

It gives me much pleasure to think that Zach Snyder is the man to helm Watchmen, judging by this movie (which was deemed unfilmable) he will do Watchmen much justice (another comic deemed unfilmable). I think it has something for everyone, Anita even enjoyed herself and she tends not to enjoy violence. In closing if you were not one of the millions...AND MILLIONS...to go see 300 this past weekend get off your fat asses down to the theater and see something truly beautiful.

10 Favorite Albums

Ten on Tuesday

10.Scott Fitzgerald-Thunderdrums
9.Clann An Drumma-Tried and True
8.Pantera-Vulgar Display of Power
7.Rollins Band-Get Some, Go Again
6.Rage Against The Machine-Rage Against The Machine
5.Metallica-Ride The Lightning
4.Pantera-Cowboys From Hell
3.Rollins Band-Life Time
2.Lynard Skynard-(pronounced leh-nerd skin-nerd)
1.The Crow Soundtrack

Worst Night Of Sleep Ever

No, I'm not kidding. I may have had four hours of sleep at the most and that definitely wasn't straight. I don't know what was going on, if my mind said fuck you I ain't sleeping or what but I couldn't sleep. As such I barely have the energy to write an appropriate blog today. I'd love to sit here and go on and on about 300 (FUCKIN AWESOME) and Shamrock Fest (Awesome and Crap rolled into one) but I honestly don't have the energy to do so. As such, here is a treat for you...

Folks, I have no words

No Mercy...


Trust me, you have to watch this

Throwback Thursday on Friday

Yes, I own this movie, cash money

Henry Rollins Friday

Hmmm, apparently each week I will be introducing a new theme for each day of the week. Yesterday was Throwback Thursday (coming today due to the live blogging) and now Friday will be Henry Rollins Friday. So, enjoy...

Is it nap time yet?

We are back, along with power cord, to witness the second half of the world's most boring meeting...next to a church's meeting about when to hold a bake sale. Ah of course, there were things we must covering that they forgot, how bout we say screw it and all go home for a beer?

1:15-Hey look at that, some meeting and I'm still doing work fixing the late folks BlackBerry.

1:36-Jesus, Mary and Joseph only twenty minutes has passed? Between the monotone voice speaking, food in my belly and complete and utter boredom I can only fear how slowly this will go. Least I have a draft in twenty minutes.

2:00-Draft starting, least something is going to occupy my time.

2:30-They've broke for a break, but I sit here due to the draft. A solid team led by pick number four of Johan Santana. In other news apparently Tom Brady is building his own football club.

2:50-Wow, dude is talking about his very first physical...including all of his orifices....yeah swell time folks.

3:05-Once again I look down at the clock and only a sliver of time has passed. Dear god, I feel like I'm at the hands against Doctor Time or some other crappy Golden Age villian.

3:14-Dear christ this better be the last speaker of the day. This lady has to be Ben Stein's daughter. Listen hun just because you have pictures instead of words means I forgive you for being about as exciting as drying paint.

3:34-and all is weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell...well, not so much, Lady Stein is still talking and this party ain't over yet.

3:45-Dear lord, could this bastard of a meeting be over?! Oh god I hope so...

4:12-It's finally over! ATTICA! ATTICA!

Live From C-SPAN 6

I have a new cup of coffee, 3 pieces of Hershey Special Dark, a Krackle, tiny starburst and a small pack of Nerds. We're back from our first break, an hour and a half from a Free Pizza Lunch, maybe something interesting will happen but no promises.

10:28-There are a few dogs and cats out there being cleaned up by the government. I don't know if that is lingo, but definitely not something I expected to hear today. He says this while using his laser pointer that he explained is not for this but to entertain his two cats, the lifestyles of the old and boring.

10:32-Anita tells me there is some HUGE announcement on American Idol tonight. The following is a real conversation between OnStar and a customer...

Anita:ok, is it wrong that I am VERY. EXCITED. about the big announcement on American Idol tonight?
Because... I kind of am.

S.Rollins: there's a big announcement?

Anita: Ryan said so.

S.Rollins: uh ok is it going to be who's eliminated this week?

Anita: No, because he said it on Tuesday, before anyone sang

S.Rollins: true, but they eliminate everyone on thursday anyways right?

Anita: well yes, but...
"he promises us a "very big announcement -- one of the most important events in 'Idol' history" -- during Thursday's results show."
That is not: someone is voted off in the results show.
S.Rollins: Kelly Clarkson strips?

Brenda: ... I hate you.

S.Rollins: that or it is just the elimination and he's learned how to sell from pro wrestling commentators

S.Rollins: maybe seacrest comes out of the closet?

Anita: HATE.

S.Rollins: I don't know, I'm throwing possibilities out there

Anita: we're wondering if A. they decided not to keep 6 guys and 6 girls but just keep the top 12, which would kill off more boys at this point
There could be some sort of wildcard thing

S.Rollins: could be a gladiator arena fight to the death too

Anita: you can't come over tonight :(

10:40-I am going to see if any Public Leagues are having a draft this afternoon during this meeting. If so I may just sit here and do a Fantasy Baseball draft, I apparently have the time to do so.

10:45-I'm not gonna talk about the flow chart the resembles a map for a labrynth, I am doing a fantasy draft in a public league this afternoon. Right now it's myself and one other team, so I have a fifty fifty shot of winning.

11:02-Oh joy, we've reached the old war stories of the day. I don't care about some elderly housing or low income housing on a former munitions plant.

11:10-A small courtesy chuckle from the room, did someone say something funny? If so I missed it. I must be too busy with GChat and reading Green Arrow:Quiver.

The battery is about to die and I didn't bring the cord with me. Will continue the live blogging after lunch when I grab the cord.l

Live Blogging From The Meeting

I've commandeered a laptop so that I'm not completely bored here during this meeting. With that in mind I will live blogging the mundane and boring meeting of bureaucrats who educate my customers on the facets of certain aspects of their jobs.

To give you a lil background, I work as an contracted IT Monkey for a DoD group. I won't say what exactly, we'll call it the Docce effect, but they are involved with the closing of military bases. Today we are joined by four or five people in various fields explaining red tape, acronyms, and other facets of government life.

8:52-This shindig has been going on for forty-five minutes now and I've seen six different acronyms. This more or less sums up why no one in their right mind can understand how the government works.

8:56-Conversing with EaZy E I just said the following which I found amusing, "like the short fat bitch said in poltergeist, all are welcome". I crack myself up.

8:58-Apparently I am the only one in this meeting who can read the big sign at the front of the room that says Please keep all questions until session end. I don't know what's worse, the illiteracy rate in this room or the moderator acting like a caveman with a laptop.

9:06-Only at the Federal Government can you see Power Point slides that read like a novel and reads worse then a chemistry book.

9;33-I took morning constitutional in the lavatory and I saw the culprit. As most men know there's nothing more annoying then going to a public restroom and someone had pissed on the seat. This young man, acting like he was in quite a hurry and more important then he really is, races and goes into the first stall. Mind you there are three urinals completely open. I'm washing my hands and notice that this jackass has not raised the seat. I mean really, is it that hard to simply raise the seat you disgusting bastard?

9:45-Question time since they finished early before the first break. I feel like I am an extra in something that would be shown on C-SPAN 6, Mind Numbing Government meetings.

9:50-The director is now sitting in front of me, giving me either the ole evil eye or wondering why the hell I am here. Hopefully I can still do this after the break.

9:55-WOOOOHOOO! Our first case of emphatic arm movements while talking, this is Emmy gold! Will continue after this break, same boring time same boring channel. Well, I guess not the same time. Look for the next update around noon.

Operation Shut Down

You may be asking yourself, what the bloody hell is Operation Shut Down? Well my mind has officially begun "Operation Shut Down" and I thought I should get a few thoughts out of my head now before all is lost to tomorrow's mind numbing meeting. For those who don't know "Operation Shut Down" was a phrase coined by Pirates baseball player Derek Bell who in 2001 had a horrible year, batting .173. Well come spring training there came word that he would be competing for a starting job. His response is as follows.

"Nobody told me I was in competition. If there is competition, somebody better let me know. If there is competition, they better eliminate me out of the race and go ahead and do what they're going to do with me. I ain't never hit in spring training and I never will. If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me. I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is [a competition], then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't competed for a job since 1991."

Ever since then many people, usually due to the Jim Rome Show, begin "Operation Shut Down". Since Operation Shut Down has begun I will be release a few thoughts that I have in my head that spans last Friday to today.

•Friday as I drove north towards NJ/PA I somehow got stuck in Fredrick for two hours. This has never happened to me before when I took this route, sure 270 can be a bitch, but it’s usually fine once you enter Fredrick. I finally discovered that those assbackward goat fuckers were literally stopping, I mean a full on stop, to look at an accident. This accident wasn’t bad, there was no blood, no bodies and the cars were on the side of the road. These chicken fuckers were stopping for a fender bender and making my trip extend from just under five hours to seven hours.

•When taking a new route to somewhere never get off at the point you THINK is the right way. It tends to take you in a boomerang and you end up wasting even more time.

•The more, or I should less, I watch the pro wrestling on TV the more I realize just how much Chris Jericho is needed to be our very own personal savior. Why he doesn’t realize this I don’t know, but I hope he will hear the prayers soon.

•One of the secretaries I work for needs to stop deleting shit. I am tired of having to constantly put stuff on her machine because she’s deleted shit.

•We may have lost Nate Clements to the Niners, who overpaid just to get him to go to Cali instead of his home state of Ohio, but we we still have Steinbach. I also really like the two other signings we made, it will definitely help out depth which was really hurting last fall.

•Kickball is starting to pick up steam and it feels good to have it finally back in my life, I’ve missed it like an addict misses his fix.

•March Madness this year will have more surprises then ever before, mark my words.

•This is 300 week, I don’t know if I can really put into words how excited I am at this point. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this excited for a movie and I almost went naked to Sin City.

Of course I'm confident, I'm a seven foot juggernaut!

I know I haven't updated much this week, a few bits and pieces here and there, but hey this is completely not my fault and for once I can't blame none other then Red Herring. Sadly work has gotten in the way this week, and tomorrow is going to suck more goat balls then Mister Rickus from Wanted.

You see, tomorrow I get to come into work two hours early. Not only do I get that pleasure but I also get to attend a meeting...training session...I don't know what it is but it is a complete waste of my bloody time. Let's see, I am an IT Monkey but I only have the ability to work magic in an office when I have rights to those machines. Tomorrow I get to go to this schindig in case something goes wrong with the laptop...which is not ours. So in that sense I am there to go fetch another IT person in case something isn't working correctly. Also, since I'm already going to be there I get the pleasure of turning on and off of the Dictator Device (a recorder peons) to record this lovely meeting.

Yes, I get to sit in a room for lord knows how long and basically just be there with a thumb up my ass. Of course the person who is running this function also has about as much sense as a dog who was hit by a truck and lived. The frosting is that someone from our office will be in there, taking notes, but I guess they deem pushing record on a machine too much for him to handle and thus I am given that duty. Needless to say I will have a book or twelve to help me cope with this cluster fuck.