Live From C-SPAN 6

I have a new cup of coffee, 3 pieces of Hershey Special Dark, a Krackle, tiny starburst and a small pack of Nerds. We're back from our first break, an hour and a half from a Free Pizza Lunch, maybe something interesting will happen but no promises.

10:28-There are a few dogs and cats out there being cleaned up by the government. I don't know if that is lingo, but definitely not something I expected to hear today. He says this while using his laser pointer that he explained is not for this but to entertain his two cats, the lifestyles of the old and boring.

10:32-Anita tells me there is some HUGE announcement on American Idol tonight. The following is a real conversation between OnStar and a customer...

Anita:ok, is it wrong that I am VERY. EXCITED. about the big announcement on American Idol tonight?
Because... I kind of am.

S.Rollins: there's a big announcement?

Anita: Ryan said so.

S.Rollins: uh ok is it going to be who's eliminated this week?

Anita: No, because he said it on Tuesday, before anyone sang

S.Rollins: true, but they eliminate everyone on thursday anyways right?

Anita: well yes, but...
"he promises us a "very big announcement -- one of the most important events in 'Idol' history" -- during Thursday's results show."
That is not: someone is voted off in the results show.
S.Rollins: Kelly Clarkson strips?

Brenda: ... I hate you.

S.Rollins: that or it is just the elimination and he's learned how to sell from pro wrestling commentators

S.Rollins: maybe seacrest comes out of the closet?

Anita: HATE.

S.Rollins: I don't know, I'm throwing possibilities out there

Anita: we're wondering if A. they decided not to keep 6 guys and 6 girls but just keep the top 12, which would kill off more boys at this point
There could be some sort of wildcard thing

S.Rollins: could be a gladiator arena fight to the death too

Anita: you can't come over tonight :(

10:40-I am going to see if any Public Leagues are having a draft this afternoon during this meeting. If so I may just sit here and do a Fantasy Baseball draft, I apparently have the time to do so.

10:45-I'm not gonna talk about the flow chart the resembles a map for a labrynth, I am doing a fantasy draft in a public league this afternoon. Right now it's myself and one other team, so I have a fifty fifty shot of winning.

11:02-Oh joy, we've reached the old war stories of the day. I don't care about some elderly housing or low income housing on a former munitions plant.

11:10-A small courtesy chuckle from the room, did someone say something funny? If so I missed it. I must be too busy with GChat and reading Green Arrow:Quiver.

The battery is about to die and I didn't bring the cord with me. Will continue the live blogging after lunch when I grab the cord.l

Live Blogging From The Meeting

I've commandeered a laptop so that I'm not completely bored here during this meeting. With that in mind I will live blogging the mundane and boring meeting of bureaucrats who educate my customers on the facets of certain aspects of their jobs.

To give you a lil background, I work as an contracted IT Monkey for a DoD group. I won't say what exactly, we'll call it the Docce effect, but they are involved with the closing of military bases. Today we are joined by four or five people in various fields explaining red tape, acronyms, and other facets of government life.

8:52-This shindig has been going on for forty-five minutes now and I've seen six different acronyms. This more or less sums up why no one in their right mind can understand how the government works.

8:56-Conversing with EaZy E I just said the following which I found amusing, "like the short fat bitch said in poltergeist, all are welcome". I crack myself up.

8:58-Apparently I am the only one in this meeting who can read the big sign at the front of the room that says Please keep all questions until session end. I don't know what's worse, the illiteracy rate in this room or the moderator acting like a caveman with a laptop.

9:06-Only at the Federal Government can you see Power Point slides that read like a novel and reads worse then a chemistry book.

9;33-I took morning constitutional in the lavatory and I saw the culprit. As most men know there's nothing more annoying then going to a public restroom and someone had pissed on the seat. This young man, acting like he was in quite a hurry and more important then he really is, races and goes into the first stall. Mind you there are three urinals completely open. I'm washing my hands and notice that this jackass has not raised the seat. I mean really, is it that hard to simply raise the seat you disgusting bastard?

9:45-Question time since they finished early before the first break. I feel like I am an extra in something that would be shown on C-SPAN 6, Mind Numbing Government meetings.

9:50-The director is now sitting in front of me, giving me either the ole evil eye or wondering why the hell I am here. Hopefully I can still do this after the break.

9:55-WOOOOHOOO! Our first case of emphatic arm movements while talking, this is Emmy gold! Will continue after this break, same boring time same boring channel. Well, I guess not the same time. Look for the next update around noon.

Operation Shut Down

You may be asking yourself, what the bloody hell is Operation Shut Down? Well my mind has officially begun "Operation Shut Down" and I thought I should get a few thoughts out of my head now before all is lost to tomorrow's mind numbing meeting. For those who don't know "Operation Shut Down" was a phrase coined by Pirates baseball player Derek Bell who in 2001 had a horrible year, batting .173. Well come spring training there came word that he would be competing for a starting job. His response is as follows.

"Nobody told me I was in competition. If there is competition, somebody better let me know. If there is competition, they better eliminate me out of the race and go ahead and do what they're going to do with me. I ain't never hit in spring training and I never will. If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me. I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is [a competition], then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't competed for a job since 1991."

Ever since then many people, usually due to the Jim Rome Show, begin "Operation Shut Down". Since Operation Shut Down has begun I will be release a few thoughts that I have in my head that spans last Friday to today.

•Friday as I drove north towards NJ/PA I somehow got stuck in Fredrick for two hours. This has never happened to me before when I took this route, sure 270 can be a bitch, but it’s usually fine once you enter Fredrick. I finally discovered that those assbackward goat fuckers were literally stopping, I mean a full on stop, to look at an accident. This accident wasn’t bad, there was no blood, no bodies and the cars were on the side of the road. These chicken fuckers were stopping for a fender bender and making my trip extend from just under five hours to seven hours.

•When taking a new route to somewhere never get off at the point you THINK is the right way. It tends to take you in a boomerang and you end up wasting even more time.

•The more, or I should less, I watch the pro wrestling on TV the more I realize just how much Chris Jericho is needed to be our very own personal savior. Why he doesn’t realize this I don’t know, but I hope he will hear the prayers soon.

•One of the secretaries I work for needs to stop deleting shit. I am tired of having to constantly put stuff on her machine because she’s deleted shit.

•We may have lost Nate Clements to the Niners, who overpaid just to get him to go to Cali instead of his home state of Ohio, but we we still have Steinbach. I also really like the two other signings we made, it will definitely help out depth which was really hurting last fall.

•Kickball is starting to pick up steam and it feels good to have it finally back in my life, I’ve missed it like an addict misses his fix.

•March Madness this year will have more surprises then ever before, mark my words.

•This is 300 week, I don’t know if I can really put into words how excited I am at this point. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this excited for a movie and I almost went naked to Sin City.

Of course I'm confident, I'm a seven foot juggernaut!

I know I haven't updated much this week, a few bits and pieces here and there, but hey this is completely not my fault and for once I can't blame none other then Red Herring. Sadly work has gotten in the way this week, and tomorrow is going to suck more goat balls then Mister Rickus from Wanted.

You see, tomorrow I get to come into work two hours early. Not only do I get that pleasure but I also get to attend a meeting...training session...I don't know what it is but it is a complete waste of my bloody time. Let's see, I am an IT Monkey but I only have the ability to work magic in an office when I have rights to those machines. Tomorrow I get to go to this schindig in case something goes wrong with the laptop...which is not ours. So in that sense I am there to go fetch another IT person in case something isn't working correctly. Also, since I'm already going to be there I get the pleasure of turning on and off of the Dictator Device (a recorder peons) to record this lovely meeting.

Yes, I get to sit in a room for lord knows how long and basically just be there with a thumb up my ass. Of course the person who is running this function also has about as much sense as a dog who was hit by a truck and lived. The frosting is that someone from our office will be in there, taking notes, but I guess they deem pushing record on a machine too much for him to handle and thus I am given that duty. Needless to say I will have a book or twelve to help me cope with this cluster fuck.

April 3, 2007 Nats vs Marlins

I am a big baseball fan, and a huge fan of Tailgating. We're going to be opening this year with a bang here in DC. We're going to be Tailgating and going to the game on April 3rd, their first night game, against the Marlins. As of right now I have around 20 people coming along, if you want to join us contact me very soon and I will get you tickets with us. It should be a blast to say the least, and hopefully we won't be arrested...even if Noodle will be with us.

Courtesy Of Freewheelin

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I had a great title from something but forgot..

Morning of reading, here are a few choice tidbits.

Bark Bark Woof-So I guess this means he has almost everyone around him thinking on the same wavelength that he is.

Bark Bark Woof-This is something most of us on the net have none for the last few months that the MSM is now just picking up on.

B&A-More on the the wounded Vets and Dubya playing dumb to their issues.

Chantal-A cute and probably accurate post about Cats and Dogs.

Life Liberty Nachos-Newt, meet your foot.

Digby-A wonderful post from Digby

Other Issues-I'm sure most of you have heard about this over the weekend, I still can't believe this shit.

Shakes Sis-Another wonderful post by the folks over at Sis.

Simply Left Behind-Apparently we think about the same things in the shower, cept mine are what would I do if I could get Twin Peaks back on TV.

Simply Left Behind-Ann Coulter has made many a blog today due to CPAC.

Weighing In Without The Cookies-I heard about it, but then I saw this picture and realize that Hugo from Lost just gave birth.

Sidious here...

I've been holding onto a piece of news that only a handful of people know. I was going to post it yesterday, but work got busy and I began Throwback Thursday so that took over. No, this is ground breaking stuff here folks. This is something that no one in their right mind should ever allow...but then those who made the decision know me well and are very likely not in the right mind. I mean, who really allows the lunatic to run the asylum? Who puts a psychotic madman in charge of driving the train?

You see I play WAKA, World Adult Kickball Association, in the DC Potomac Division. This year will be my third year playing and it has definitely changed my life since I began. I joined in 2005 after seeing so many people on Match.com having it listed. I talked to someone on the site, she suggested I sign up, and I did. I was then put on the HOES (Hung Over Every Sunday) where I met Eazy E and Mouth. We were three of the four rookies on the team and naturally gelled quite well. Let me be frank about what we did while on the HOES, we took over. We took over to a point we weren't quite welcome back on to the team the following year.

This was well and good, we played in a fall league and started the Potomac Pirates. We then moved that team over to the DC Potomac League and began our conquest of the division. It is in the DC Potomac where almost all of my friends in the DC area come from. My social circle right now in DC all stem from the DC Potomac. EC, the lady who hooked Anita and I up, met me in DC Potomac and I am now the only other man she's allowed to dance with (other then her man). Last year is where I began taking on more of a visible role in DCP.

It was there that I started DJing, and since have become a member of the DJ team at Kelly's Irish Times. As I just stated, I met Anita through DCP. It was also about mid-season last year when I began writing a column for the Ghost Man on Third newsletter that goes out once a week. Quite naturally it became a point of controversy and talk among people, some came up to tell me how much they enjoyed it, others avoided me. This was nice as those who would make crap music requests came up less as this was usually a main point of the editorial.

Every year there is a board selected to run the division. This is a thankless job and I believe there has been thirteen people driven to the nuthouse over the years due to their time on the board. Now being already insane I couldn't be a member of the board, that would be too volatile. Apparently they newly formed board met and decided to put something to a vote. No, I was banned from the Potomac for wearing my kilt on opening day...and other days...no it was something even more monumental.

They gave me complete control of the Ghost Man on Third newsletter.

Yes, they gave the most controversial man in the division, the most outspoken and foul mouthed braggart complete and utter domination over their publication. Hell, the President of the board wishes to bestow upon me the title of CZAR of the GMOT. Dear readers, this is not the only thing they did either, the best part is still to come...

I was given the okay to make a promo before the pre-season party in any fashion that I like. Full creative license, those words may have not been specifically said, but I truly believe they were implied. So naturally this will be a video of some kind that will appear mid-April and of course I will share it with all of you. To say a new dawn is cresting over the hills would be redundant, same as saying there is a new sheriff in town. Let me give you a lil preview of what you can expect in this promo...

Take three equal mixtures of The Joker, Chris Jericho and the original nWo, shake and serve chilled and that is what you're gonna have...may the gods help you all.

Throwback Thursday pt. 2

I could watch that all day and still smile while I squirm

Throwback Thursday

The beginning of the hottest time in professional wrestling history...and also the beginning of the end of the bubble...