Imma bad bad man

I came across this list of least intimidating movie villains earlier today and naturally I had an issue with it. OK, my issue is that dare put Zod on this list just because he isn't tall? Get real people. So naturally I decided to come up with my very own list, my very own top ten worst movie villains of all time, and unlike the other, this one will be numbered.

10.Mathias-The Omega Man.

He replaced Ben Cortman as the main villain opposite Neville, and was basically a TV personality who, when infected, turned it into a religious aspect and convinced others around him that they were "chosen". He speaks as if he was from 1302 instead of 1975 and is quite useless.

9. Mr. Freeze-Batman and Robin

Thank you Warner Brothers for almost ruining the Batman franchise. After the success of Tim Burton you were more concerned with what you could sell off the movie instead of the movie itself. You therefore made it campy and delivered to us a character with HORRIBLE lines, and turned a very interesting character into an abomination.

8. Mr. Glass-Unbreakable

I think I understand what M was trying to do with the opposite of Bruce Willis' character, but to just make the mine fragile is fuckin weak, especially when that man is mother fuckin Samuel L. I mean you can't take Shaft and make him into that kind of pussy, even if he is blowing up trains.

7. Greg Mamalard-Animal House

Yes, I chose this tool from Animal House. Is he a great foil, sure, but any man who can't get it up when around two beautiful women and is supposed to be one of the bad guys is just pathetic. It wasn't even that he was supposed to be gay; he just couldn't get it up. That and I just didn't understand how an asskiss like Greg can overcome Delta house.

6.The Nothing-The Neverending Story

Nothing, the big bad is...nothing. So basically there is going to be a big bad shadow crawling across the land and it's going to destroy everything...right. It's not even the Genesis Device? Hell, even the Fog had zombie pirates in the middle of this; this was just some punk kid not "believing" anymore.

5. Terl-Battlefield Earth

Now I don't want to be hunted down by you Scientology nuts out there, but this was ridiculous. John Travolta has looked goofy in almost every single movie he has ever been in (save where he is wearing your basic suit) and this is the frosting on the cake. An abortion of a movie and it pretty much single handedly sunk Barry Pepper's fast rising career.

4. Elektra King-The World Is Not Enough

Of course some sort of Bond villain had to make this list and I decided to give it to the former princess from France, Elektra King. So she's an ex-flame of Bond's who was kidnapped once, suffered the syndrome, and is banging the guy from the Full Monty who is trying to act tough as well. Excuse, I think I just found the cure to insomnia. I mean seriously, you go from Braveheart to this bastard of a film? Is anyone helping you decide what movies to make?

3. The Villains of Superman III

Now I tried finding an image of the lady who turns into some bad cyborg, but none could be found so here ya go. The big bad computer who knows its purpose in life. You would think that Superman would be smart enough to throw a boulder or something and just break the fucking thing, but then you would assume that this movie made any sense what so ever. The only good part was seeing Red Kryptonite; even Richard Pryor couldn't save this movie.

2. Laurel Hedare-Catwoman

Now I don't have an idea what this movie is really about because quite honestly I go out of my way to stay away from its physical presence. I mean I don't even like my things even touching its case. All I know is she's some model, beats up Halle Berry (who has managed to turn Catwoman into a stripper of some sort) and is worse in this then in Basic Instinct 2...allegedly. I mean really...someone needs to go on a killing spree over at the WB.

AND YOUR WINNER!!!
1. Nuclear Man-Superman IV

Technically this award is going to two individuals, Nuke Man 1 and Nuke Man 2. Though Nuke1 looked like some bastard version of Frankenstein, and one would hope a nod towards Bizarro, Nuke 2 with his feathery golden locks gets the picture...or circle gets a square. It should be of no surprise that one of the people who concocted this scheme was Duckie from Pretty in Pink. Truly the low point of Lex Luthor's glorious career. Now as I look at it, does anyone else think this guy reminds you of Lex Luger? Why couldn't we get the tag team of Zeus and Nuke together to face the Mega-Powers?

This inspired me so much I have a ten best villains prepared, but first, lunch.