Head Meet Desk

Certain people shouldn't touch these new-fangled machines. I will post more about the weekend later, but a quick taste of what my morning has been like so far.

Cast
OBWSTM-Old Broad Who Shouldn't Touch Machines
Me-Your soon to be homicidal hero

OBWSTM-I had her scan something to my machine and...oh there it is...(minimizes it)...wait, where did it go?!

Me-(sigh) You minimized it...again...see the bottom right hand corner? Click on Paperport.

OBWSTM-There's no Paper...oh, that one, ok. Oh, THERE it is.

Mind you this is the lady who whenever she needs something from Outlook she opens it. So naturally when she complains about her computer running slow it's because she has ten copies of Outlook open, six Internet explorers, three copies of word, two copies of power point and a partridge in a pear tree.

And there shall be the peace...

...or that's what I thought when I wrote the Title of this blog. Then, as I begin to look for an appropriate image to go along with this post, the vapid old lady...wait, I shouldn't say that. You see, she's not the only old lady who works in my office and does not understand how to work these new fangled machines they call...COMPUTERS...say it with me now, kuhm-pyoo-ter. I swear I am constantly asked questions a five year old would know the answer to. I understand that you didn't have them growing up, but they've been in the government sector over ten years now and you've been here longer then that. So when do you think you'll finally get the hang of this wonderous and obviously evil black magic machine?

I mean, really, when I say open Adobe (a program you use on a regular basis) how can you hear that to mean open a word document. Wait...what? You stood there, watched what I did, and then still opened a word document. You know why, because you never listen to a fucking word we ever say and it's annoying the shit out of your IT slaves.

It's bad enough I actually have to do work this week, but this also brings me into close contact with three of our users who I wouldn't trust to stop drop and roll if they were on fire. You know why our Government is a mess at times? Because, unlike other countries, our best and brightest don't come work here they go work in corporations where they will actually be paid and as such we get the C and D students.

I swear, half the time I just want to give these people a piece of paper and a crayon and say here ya go, this is all we trust you with at this juncture. Perhaps I'm being a little hard on people who should have retired five years ago, but I'm sorry you're fucking with my chi.

I mean I was all ready to relax before Tweeder Dee came over to my desk to ask the same question she asks every week. That was the final straw for the day and I just want to sit down, relax, and forget about this fucking place for just a little bit.

Tomorrow will be much of the same, if not worse.