My Resume From My Girlfriend

I asked Anita to assist with this intro section and I received the following (you can easily see why I love her so):

Guest Blogging on Demand

Hi, y’all! Clearly, I am not the Joker, but he asked me to write something up describing him, and any excuse to not be doing what I am actually paid to do is greatly appreciated.

So I asked the Joker what he wanted from me, and he responded with the entirely unhelpful “Write about me. Like, a biography of me.” And while clearly he can’t possibly be looking for a basic recitation of facts, I also have to be careful here because I am his girlfriend, and I’m not sure if “world class snuggler” is exactly the type of “biographical” information I am supposed to impart. So I’ll just do the best I can to walk some sort of line between the two.

I think the first thing that I noticed about the Joker is his passion for things. When he’s into something, he’s really into it. He defines it as “immersing himself in geekdom”, but I think it’s really more curiosity mixed with a need for authenticity. In other words, the Joker doesn’t become passionate for something because he’s up on the latest trends, read an article or two, or heard about it from his friends last night. He makes a point to be knowledgeable, aware, and involved in the things he loves to a depth a lot of people don’t reach. It makes him fascinating and, occasionally, infuriating.

The second thing I noticed about him is that he is very laid back. The Joker is, generally, a peaceful person to be around. He takes life as it comes and really embodies the idea of not sweating the small stuff. He isn’t a pushover by any means, but seems to have an innate grasp on things he can change and things he can’t, and really doesn’t seem to spend time worrying about things either way. For a type-A neurotic like myself, this is incomprehensible, but fabulous.

Both of the personality traits above are underlined by the fact that the Joker generally doesn’t care about other people’s judgments. I’ve never known him to compromise who he is or what he believes to fit someone else’s ideals. In fact, I think a large part of him enjoys being apart from the crowd. I think that overall he’s done a really good job of balancing the “I don’t care what you think, I will stay true to myself” attitude and generally being able to read and fit into a large range of social situations. I have been all sorts of places with Joker, from formal events to football games, and while he always adapts to his environment, he’s definitely always my Joker, as well.

I worded that very carefully above, because while the Joker may not care about other people’s judgments , it certainly doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about other people. In fact, the Joker has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I have ever met. I’ve met a large portion of his family, and I can see where he gets it from. He cares deeply about the people in his life and really goes out of his way to be of help whenever possible. Believe me, I have talked to most of the Joker’s friends, and I have heard more stories of his generosity, loyalty, and honor than I can count. Not to mention the countless incidents I have experienced myself.

Overall, the Joker is straightforward, honest, intelligent, funny, stubborn, sweet, and a whole bunch of other adjectives that don’t really mean anything until you meet him yourself. I know that as far as I am concerned the Joker is a pretty fantastic all around guy.

Of course, he’s also the best thing that has happened to me since I can remember, so I may be a little biased.

So just let me introduce myself, my name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.

I figure I am getting some new folks on this new blog of mine who may have absolutely no idea who in the hell I am, even if they should know. You can call me Shane Rollins or The Joker, either works on here. Why do I go by a ringname or a nickname? Well my soon to be fiancé, Anita is in law school and will be working for some powerful firms and I would like to prevent any recognition of anyone that may cause trouble for her down the road. She has been the greatest thing in my life and gets me like no one ever has.

She may not understand what I fully talk about all the time, but that is likely due to my speech being influenced by and large by the various interest that I have in my life. You see I suffer from a severe case of not being able to pay attention to any one thing for very long and as such I have many interests and passions that I enjoy. I could go into a very long rant about who I am, what makes me tick, but I suppose you will find that out over time as this blog goes along. So I will give you a quick few facts about me for the viewers at home/work/secret underground lair.

• Politics-Libertarian/Left Leaning
• TV Shows-Twin Peaks, Buffy, 24, Farscape
• Movies-Fight Club, The Godfather, Patton
• Music-Rollins Band, Tech N9ne, Pantera, Clan An Druma
• Jobs-IT Monkey, DJ, Wrestling Commentator
• Age-27, soon to be 28 on the day of Shatner
• Comics-X-Men, Batman, Deadpool
• Teams-Browns, Longhorns, A’s, Devils
• Authors- Palahniuk, Frank Miller, Philip K Dick

I know it isn’t much, but hey it’s something.

I like to think of myself as one of the happy generations.

Last night I was watching ECW and WSX respectively and I began wondering how far the wrestling world has fallen since 1998.

96-98 would likely be seen as the high point of the wrestling industry. Nitro and Raw were in a heated war for cable supremacy, one on the stars on yesteryear, the ones we grew up knowing, and the other was building what I assume they thought would be the stars of tomorrow. You had the nWo, DX, Stone Cold, The Rock, Goldberg and ECW. It was at an all time high, everyone I knew in high school (male wise) was watching professional wrestling. Then it all came crashing down like a Russian Space Station, the final nail being when Vinnie Mac bought WCW and ECW.

In the years that have passed we saw the future stars move on, Rock with movies, Austin with his own demons and injuries, and the booking became...well atrocious. I don't think the booking in the WWE has been right since 2000. I could book a better then those hacks if I were illiterate. The issue, maybe hiring Hollywood writers, other then that I'm not quite sure. This isn't what I was actually going to write about here today.

ECW, I wonder if Vince is really just trying to piss on legacies he didn't create now. He had no need to piss on WCW, they did that enough before their implosion. ECW never had that problem, their only issue was having someone doing finances that had no business doing that. Now we have this new ECW which some now call ECWWE, and it almost makes me sick sometimes. It has two wrestlers that I absolutely enjoy watching perform in CM Punk and Monty Brown.

Well, Monty is now called Marquis Cor Von and I'm pretty sure whoever came up with his music and video never saw him or new what he was about but it appears to be for some French Quarter pimp and NOT The Alpha Male. CM Punk came in like a wildfire and then soon after Survivor Series, when he received bigger pops then HBK and HHH no surprise they were in Philly, his push became a tug backwards. First you have him lose to Hardcore Holly, I can almost buy that. This week however they had Matt Striker pin him by holding the ropes. Now I enjoy Matt Striker more then most people, but when are they going to get over not knowing what to do with CM Punk? Put him in a program with lashley and go with it, end of story. He's the best wrestler you have on that brand, learn how to use him.

Wrestling Society X, MTV's latest creation, was interesting to watch last night. Now I am biased, I want to watch this show because it has one of our wrestlers, Ruckus, and another performer I've talked to, The Human Tornado. These two cats are the real deal and are over everywhere they go and I have no doubt that they will be over in WSX as well. I had two problems though with WSX this week. One, your announcers are fucking douche bags and couldn't commentate a wrestling match if there was a gun pointed to their heads. Zach Wylde of Black Label Society was doing a better job then those assclowns. Second, if you continue to cut to the crowd and back and forth so quickly you're going to give me and everyone else who watches your show seizures. Please, focus on the wrestling we don't car about the unwashed masses that came to those tapings.

In the end watching wrestling last night made me very sad for the sport that I and many others love with a passion. I am merely thankful that I have my own refuge of the EWA to go to and commentate for.

Around the blogosphere

C&L:Double Talk Express

Shakespeare's Siter:The Right Wing going Old School in their playbook.

Shakespeare's Sister:An Update on the Tampa Rape Victim

Freewheeling Spirit: A nice commentary on past SOTUs

Life, Liberty, Nachos:Go grease lightning

Reason:If you live in NYC check it out

Godfather Olberman

Once again Keith Olberman hits it out of the park.

Via Crooks and Liars as per usual.

Absolutely Disgusting

Via Shakespeare's Sister:

TAMPA - First, police say, a 21-year-old woman was raped at Gasparilla. Then, she was handcuffed and jailed - for two nights and two days.

A jail worker with religious objections blocked her from ingesting a morning-after pill to prevent pregnancy, her attorney says, keeping her from taking the required second dose for more than 24 hours longer than recommended.

[.....]

The premedical student attended Saturday's Gasparilla parade and veered off from her friends shortly before 1:30 p.m., police said. The Times is not naming her because police say she is a victim of a sexual crime.

As she walked north on Howard Avenue at Swann Avenue, she was grabbed by a man with crooked teeth and raped behind a building, McElroy said.

After the assault, the man ran off. The woman walked to her car, which was parked on the University of Tampa campus. At 3:40 p.m., after finding her vehicle, she called police.

As police assisted her, taking her to a nurse examiner's clinic, and processing her report, an officer found two outstanding warrants for the woman in Sarasota County.

Attorney Virlyn "Vic" Moore III of Venice said his client was seated in the front seat of the police cruiser, on her way to the scene of her attack when the officer learned of the warrant, cuffed her and placed her in the back seat.

"To stop the rape investigation and instead victimize her again," Moore said. "I'm aghast, astonished and outraged. I have never, ever heard of this happening."

The officer arrested the woman at a sergeant's instruction, McElroy said.

The student had failed to pay $4,585 restitution after a 2003 juvenile arrest, McElroy said. Moore said his client is convinced that she paid the fine and that the warrant was probably the result of a clerical error.

I have no words at the anger that is flowing in me right now. This is down right disgusting and ridiculous. I understand arresting the woman, but to not finish a rape kit or continue the investigation because she MIGHT owe some money is down right criminal. This makes me wish Batman or Punisher was real, nothing like that would ever go down on their watch. Sadly it isn't so and we must live with a monster like the "nurse".

One steps from the shadows

Last night on 24 we saw someone finally "put all his cards on the table", that of course being the Clint Howard of Jack Bauer, Graem. He finally began to show the man we've seen before this season and doesn't appear to be acting anymore around his family. Which, although we are very saddened that Donald isn't playing Jack's father, the decision to have James Cromwell to play his father is genius. I have always been a fan of his work and it's nice to see 24 grab an actor who is famous but not that famous. I think he is a great addition to the show and we will really dig into Jack's family life and find out how he turned into the Batman without a Cape and Cowl.


Courtesy of The New York Times:

President Bush has signed a directive that gives the White House much greater control over the rules and policy statements that the government develops to protect public health, safety, the environment, civil rights and privacy.

In an executive order published last week in the Federal Register, Mr. Bush said that each agency must have a regulatory policy office run by a political appointee, to supervise the development of rules and documents providing guidance to regulated industries. The White House will thus have a gatekeeper in each agency to analyze the costs and the benefits of new rules and to make sure the agencies carry out the president’s priorities.

This strengthens the hand of the White House in shaping rules that have, in the past, often been generated by civil servants and scientific experts. It suggests that the administration still has ways to exert its power after the takeover of Congress by the Democrats.

The White House said the executive order was not meant to rein in any one agency. But business executives and consumer advocates said the administration was particularly concerned about rules and guidance issued by the Environmental Protection Agency and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.

Yes, it is that kind of thing about the signing statements and the like that scare the ever living shit out of me, and should scare the Republican minority cause if the trend continues they won't have the oval office or Congress in 2008 and there will be nothing to stop the Democrats from instituting their "Un-American" values.

I have to go to a farewell luncheon today, I shall have more once I return.

Political News of the Day

Crooks and Liars is a favorite of mine to go to since they tend to link to everything that one may be interested in when it comes to political news. Yes, they tend to be leaning a tad bit left, but that's okay because I'd rather be leaning a tad left then completely fallen over to the right. At any right they give to us today this clip which has made its rounds over the last week. Apparently it is a speech give to troops who are not going to re-enlist in the Army. I can attest to this, though I wasn't harassed to the level these troops were, and sure as hell wasn't lied to with fear tactics to get me to stay in.

I know recruiters in the military may very well have the toughest non-combat job in the military and this administration isn't making it any easier, but how could you sleep at night knowing full well you're completely lying out your ass? Course there is the other possibility that they actually believe what they were saying, which would be said because then that is precisely why they are still in the military.

LT Ehren Watada is going to Court Martial this week and things are looking to get ugly. He is the highest ranking officer in the military to refuse to go to war. The scariest thing is the military trying to force reporters to testify about what Watada said to them. It's a military trial so they may not have the right to plead the fifth, I'll have to check with Anita on that one. I will keep everyone posted on this as the trial goes forward.

Finally, a great article from the one and only Dave Barry about Miami, the Super Bowl and the shithole that is Denver. My favorite segment of the entire article...

Back in November, Rep. Tancredo, who represents suburban Denver, ruffled some feathers down here when he called Miami ``a third-world country.''

For the record, that charge is unfair: Miami is WAY better armed than any third-world country.


I still hate Denver...I will one day burn it to the ashes and salt the Earth.

Weekend of Wrassling

This weekend was our monthly EWA Show up in the Baltimore area and per usual, the voice of the EWA was there to give his golden insight on the night's festivities...and maybe take a quick jab at the owner of the company. Yes, Shane Rollins was back under the lights and behind the camera as Championship Chaos reigned in Essex, Maryland. It was a pretty decent show, a nice solid show that we put out. The crowd was definitely HOT pretty much the entire night. Hell, we were standing room only as about 30 people were standing because all the seats were taken. We keep this up and we very well may need to find a new space because we can't accommodate the fans we have coming.

A quick note, we will begin having FREE shows next weekend Feb 9th. I encourage you all to come out and support you local independent wrestling promotion. Yes, I will be there to give my wisdom and maybe a few quick jabs once again at the owner. Check out all the updates and events at The EWA Website.

We also watched the Royal Rumble last night which was much better then the last WWE PPV that we ordered. It was nothing special like past rumbles, but it was a nice solid card none the less. I think I'll give the show a solid B as there was nothing glaring that was horrible, except MVP's outfit. I actually came out 100% correct on my predictions, a first in a while; then again I haven't made predictions in a while as well. The Cena/Umaga match was actually much better then I expected it to be. The only match that didn't hold my interest too much was the Lashley/Test match, but then again I don't know if that match could have kept the interest of their own families. I will say this, when it is all said and done JBL may go down as the best colorman of all time.

All Writers Eventually Go Insane

Sean Hannity, a more who is even more biased then O'Reilly but not yet as insane gasbag racist baiter Rush Limbaugh, really has some balls sometimes. Hannity, a college dropout pundit who's only job is to give you his vapid opinion and ridicule your own has decided that he know MORE then say a Four Star General who is also a Rhodes Scholar. That's right, Sean Hannity had the audacity to attempt to correct a General on military strategy because the Incompetent in Chief says this is a "new strategy". When will the Faux News folks realize that just because the man, who wishes he was one of Reagan's movie characters, says something doesn't actually make it true.

In far more pleasant news, Striptease has a great comic today, if nothing more for the final frame. Yes, it is safe for work. Hell, if you're bored I'd suggest going back and reading it from the beginning it is without a doubt one of the best webcomics out there. Of course we all know what the best is.

The Most Amazing Game Ending I've Ever Seen

As I DJed last night at The Times I watched the ending of the Clemson Duke matchup from Cameron.

Wow. Really....wow....really. Hands down the most amazing finish to any basketball game that I've ever seen. Better then the other Duke one, better then anything Jordan ever showed us, absolutely something amazing. I challenge anyone to show me a better finish...you will be wrong.

In some GREAT news, Katie Tomcat Holmes will NOT be returning for The Dark Knight. Thankfully she has gone back to making horrible movies. I was a bit concerned when they cast Heath Ledger as me errrrrrrr The Joker, but he can be a really good actor at times and I will trust in the Genius of Christopher Nolan. I mean this is the man who made a great movie AND had the ingenuity to make a movie that made all those kids in the basement downright wet, Batman vs. Wolverine.

Sadly he also used some of the worst comic book storylines, see cloning and secret twin brothers, but the movie is still fantastic. If you haven't caught on I am naturally talking about The Prestige, naturally.

Michael Vick...Really...wow...Really?!

Weekend Update at least is still worth watching on SNL. I know many people over the years complain about the downfall of talent on SNL, I disagree sometimes. Some of the lowest points in SNL history have been when some of the best talents were there, we merely didn't know it yet and we like to reminisce that we always watched, though historic numbers say otherwise.

Welcome to my new home here in the blogdom, figured I would centralize all my writings to one location. I will post links to this blog from the other locations I have posted from in the past but this be my new home. I think I like it here, with the padded walls, 3 circular meals a day, and the hot ass candy nurse that we call Anita...yummy. I now know what the Animaniac was talking about when he said, "Hellllllllllllllllloooooooooooo Nurse!”

I know this moth has been very popular about politicians deciding to run for the Office of the President of the United States, but Tim Dickinson explains greatly why Al Gore needs to jump in this race. Personally I'd love to see Obama as his running mate, leading to his future Presidential win after Gore is done (imagine 16 years of Democratic Presidency).

Anita has a new blog up about 2006 and what lies ahead I recommend it to everyone, it includes me.