Rapture, I hardly know her!

I stumbled across a site today that I just HAD to share with all of my faithful readers. As many of you know I have my own personal problems with the religious right, well religion in general. I'm not an atheist, I am a spiritualist. I believe in the paranormal, specially due to my own experiences and what family I will be marrying in to. I just have a problem with a group of people who has caused more death then Hot Shots: Part Deux. From the Crusades, to the Inquisition, to Dubya's Holy Wars, religion has killed more people then Brandy. Allow me to give you just one small taste from 2007rapture.com:

RELATED 2007 PROPHECIES:

God did not show me why we were going to have food and water shortages. He did not show me why we will not have electricity for a while. He just showed me the problem, not the reason for the problem. However I was watching John Hagee on TV today and he was telling about a magnetic blanket that Iran is developing that if used over the US would completely shut down all electricity, computers, planes, cars, banking, phones, TVs, etc for months even years. We would not be able to buy anything or have the luxuries of running water or electricity. This very much goes along with the prophecies God has given me and I believe this magnetic blanket is the reason for the shortages that God showed me. I believe if it is used on us here in the US, it will not be used until right before the rapture. So stock up and prepare!!!!

Now, I have been known to read my fair share of comic books and have watched my fair share of bad movies but a magnetic blanket? Not even the genius of Magneto could come up with something so devious as this "magnetic blanket", though Cliff Robinson apparently had a similar idea. I am assuming that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad just recently got a Netflix subscription and came up with the idea that way. We know Dubya isn't behind it, he doesn't want less power he wants more.

Ah, the lovely rapture where a small portion of Christians are taken from Earth by someone who might as well be Xenu because they were pure, honest and true Christians. Actually when I think about it the number is pretty right on for the number of Christians who actually follow Christ's message. I for one would love to see the Rapture happen, just to see the response of all those Christians who weren't taken and see what they would do then.

Off-Site Awesomeness

Yes, beginning sometime today ALL of my office is going away for an off-site. Well, I should say everyone but myself and my co-worker who shall now be named as FenwayJ. The IT folks don't need to come and as such we will have two and a half days of peace and quiet away from the yapping and nauseating people we have to work for. I mean, if you want to see what our job is like you could just take a look at this. The saddest thing, I wish I was joking in some way or fashion, but I am not, our customers ARE this brain dead.

With all these folks going out of town I have been told I need to be move my daily schedule up two hours to facilitate their mission. Which is nice for Wednesday and Friday, not so nice for Thursday. Of course today I slept right through my alarm and woke up at the time I was supposed to be in this morning. Luckily I am also a ninja and no one but FenwayJ really noticed. There are a few stragglers in the office trying to make last minute completions to jobs, but I believe they'll all be gone by noon which is good because I need to take my car to get inspected before the day ends.

For all of you who do not live in the greater DC Metro area let me explain something for you, the folks in this area couldn't drive their way out of a wet paper bag. You have to understand they drive worse in when it sprinkles then when there is a thunderstorm. People LOVE to drive twenty five miles an hour on the highway when there is ANYTHING falling from the sky. This morning I got another lovely piece of the thing I call the sun glare pie. You see, folks in DC either don't own sunglasses or know how to use their vanity mirrors. Since they are feeble in this way the almighty sun-glare is the main cause for traffic in the morning and evenings, other then accidents.

You have to understand people, this is not a rare occurrence but something that transpires twice a day. Today I was greeted by sun-glare so bad that it cause folks to stop in the middle of the highway, a full and complete stop, just so they could change lanes. Work is a seven minute drive for me when I'm actually at my apartment, today it was almost a half an hour cause of these assclowns. It wasn't as bad as yesterday as apparently the all mighty sun-glare demon cause many accidents as I passed four ambulances on my way to work from Silver Spring.

It are tiny things like this that make me happy to be moving to Houston, this city is a transient city. Everyone comes from somewhere else and they're used to driving in that particular style. I come from California so I can drive any style as long as it's fast.

Time for the NFL Draft

Well, not quite yet.

I have always loved the NFL Draft, ever since it was on ESPN. As a child I would sit there with paper and some type of writing utensil and write down what team took what player. I used to do all the rounds, even back when they had 15 rounds. So naturally Mock Drafts amuse me and piss me off at the same time.

I am now going to present to you my 2007 NFL Mock Draft. It is half of what I THINK will happen and half what I believe SHOULD happen. I even included a Draft Day trade, a swap of spots, if only to appease myself.

2007 NFL Mock Draft
1. Oakland Raiders - JaMarcus Russell, QB, LSU
I’m not going to disagree with everyone who is predicting this. This however changes if they trade Randy Moss, then I say Calvin Johnson. If that happens then I must redo this complete draft.
2. Detroit Lions - Joe Thomas, OT, Wisconsin
Millen attempts to save his job, even though he is watering at the though of drafting Calvin Johnson right here.
3. Miami Dolphins (via trade with Cleveland for 1st and 3rd )- Brady Quinn, QB, ND
They can’t risk losing him to the Buccs, and don’t believe in Dante.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech
Gruden takes the best player available to help his ailing offense.
5. Arizona Cardinals - Jamaal Anderson, DE, Arkansas
The Cards are pretty set on Offense for a pick this high, they take a Defensive player
6. Washington Redskins - Gaines Adams, DE, Clemson
The Skins try to inject something into their sack attack
7. Minnesota Vikings – Ted Ginn Jr, WR, Ohio St
They take Ginn over Jarrett due to his return ability
8. Houston Texans – Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma
They are salivating once the Vikings choose Ginn over Peterson
9. Cleveland Browns (via trade with Miami)- Alan Branch, DT, Michigan
Forget this notion that we’re taking a QB in the first round. The decision makers know that we need a defense that can stop people before worrying about putting up points
10. Atlanta Falcons - LaRon Landry, FS, LSU
The Falcons take a good amount of time debating over Landry and Jarrett but decide to make their Secondary viscious
11. San Francisco 49ers – Dwayne Jarrett., WR, USC
The Niners keep it in state as they get some much needed targets for Alex Smith.
12. Buffalo Bills - Leon Hall, CB, Michigan
Now we understand why the Bills let Nate Clements go, or at least a portion of why.
13. St. Louis Rams - Lawrence Timmons, OLB, Florida St.
The Rams hope to get some defensive help in their depleted LB corps
14. Carolina Panthers – Buster Davis, ILB, Florida St.
The Panthers choose the playmaker Davis over Willis to replace Dan Morgan.
15. Pittsburgh Steelers - Darrelle Revis, CB, Pittsburgh
The Steelers stay local to help their depleted secondary.
16. Green Bay Packers - Marshawn Lynch, RB, California
They allow Green to go Free Agency as they take the top RB left in the draft.
17. Jacksonville Jaguars – Charles Johnson, DE, Georgia
They have a solid inside, they try to create more of a pass rush.
18. Cincinnati Bengals - Greg Olsen, TE, Miami
The Bungles add the one element their offense has lacked the last few years.
19. Tennessee Titans - Robert Meacham, WR, Tennessee
They choose the local boy over Bowe to give Vince some more targets.
20. New York Giants - Levi Brown, OT, Penn St.
The loss of two of their tackles make this a necessity pick instead of taking a WR.
21. Denver Broncos – Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
The loss of one of their Corners to that shooting makes this an obvious choice, unless they are able to get Dre Bly from the Lions.
22. Dallas Cowboys – Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville
Wade Phillips is a defensive guy and he can’t pass up on this young sutd.
23. Kansas City Chiefs – Joe Staley, OT, Central Michigan
Their O-Line is getting up in the years and they take our first Combine Stud.
24. New England Patriots (via Seattle) - Dwayne Bowe, WR, LSU
Tom Brady once again has a WR who can catch the ball and isn’t a Gator.
25. New York Jets – Justin Blalock, OG, Texas
Mangini continues the idea that did well for him last year, build your O-Line.
26. Philadelphia Eagles – Sidney Rice WR, South Carolina
The Eagles are in need of some drastic WR help, and as such they take the best available.
27. New Orleans Saints – Michael Allen, TE, Whitworth
Our second combine stud, the Saints know what Brees did with a great TE, they try for another one here.
28. New England Patriots - Paul Posluszny, LB, Penn St.
They continue with their strategy of take the best player still on the board.
29. Baltimore Ravens - Kenny Irons, RB, Auburn
Things will break down with Jamal Lewis of some kind and they will need a replacement but for some reason do not go for Michael Bush
30. San Diego Chargers – Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Ohio St.
The Chargers need more weapons for Norv and their young quarterback.
31. Chicago Bears – Marcus McCaulley, CB, Fresno St
The Bears have had great success with Bulldogs, and their secondary was ripped in the Playoffs.
32. Indianapolis Colts- Patrick Willis, ILB, Ole Miss
The Colts still need some LB help and they take the best one available.
ROUND 2
1.22.Oakland Raiders-Steve Smith, WR, USC
Reunites him with Kiffin
2.34.Detroit Lions- Ben Grubs, OG, Auburn
Lions try actually building their O-Line for the first time…ever.
3.35.Tampa Bay Buccanears-Quentin Moses, DE, Florida
Simeon Rice is not getting any younger
4.36.Cleveland Browns-Jarvis Moss, DE, Florida
Could play DE or OLB in a 3-4, we get the player I want after seeing him in the National Title game
5.37.N.Y. Jets (from Washington)-Daymeion Hughes, CB, Cal
The Jets corners are abysmal, they need an upgrade
6.38.Arizona Cardinals-Arron Sears, OT, Tennessee
Try to get some protection for Leinart
7.39.Houston Texans-Michael Griffin, S, Texas
They stay local to continue to boost their Defense
8.40.Miami Dolphins-Brandon Siler, ILB, Florida
Dolphins D isn’t getting any younger, they stay in state
9.41.Minnesota Vikings-Michael Bush, RB, Louisville
Too good of a player to pass at this point in the draft
10.42.San Francisco 49ers-Adam Carriker, DE, Nebraska
Niners need some d-line help badly
11.43.Buffalo Bills-Quin Pitcock, DT, Ohio St.
They’re going for the youth movement, need a d-line
12.44.Atlanta Falcons-Victor Abiamiri, DE, ND
They look to be losing Kerney soon, they need a replacement
13.45.Carolina Panthers-Dan Mozes, C, West Virginia
The Panthers take what they think is the best o-lineman available
14.46.Pittsburgh Steelers-Aaron Rouse, S, VA Tech
With the health of Troy in question, they may need a replacement soon
15.47.Green Bay Packers-Johnnie Lee Higgins, WR, UTEP
They give Farve a speed burner for likely his last year
16.48.Jacksonville Jaguars-Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
They need some secondary help, they take the best CB available
17.49.Cincinnati Bengals-Josh Beekman, OG, Boston College
They need to replace Steinbach, they take the best OG on the board
18.50.Tennessee Titans-David Harris, ILB, Michigan
The Titans could use an upgrade at the ILB position
19.51.N.Y. Giants-Tanard Jackson, CB, Syracuse
They need to upgrade that CB position desperately
20.52.St. Louis Rams-Marshal Yanda, OG, Iowa
They’re losing Timmerman, they need a replacement
21.53.Dallas Cowboys-Ryan Kalil, C, USC
They don’t have a true starting C, they need one for their young QB
22.54.Kansas City Chiefs-Craig Davis, WR, LSU
They need to upgrade their WR unit severely
23.55.Seattle Seahawks-Tim Duckworth, OG, Auburn
They haven’t recovered since they lost their star OG last year
24.56.Denver Broncoes-Anthony Spencer, DE, Purdue
The Browns version 2.0 d-line is faultering now
25.57.Philadelphia Eagles-Jon Beason, OLB, Miami (FL)
Probably their weakest spot on defense
26.58.New Orleans Saints-HB Blades, ILB, Pitt
Definitely need an upgrade at the ILB position
27.59.N.Y. Jets-Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee
They need some inside help, they take the best DT on the board
28.60.New England- Ben Patrick, TE, Delaware
After losing their TE they take this stud Blue Hen
29.61.Baltimore Ravens-Earl Everett, OLB, Florida
Their LB Corps is not getting any younger and you need a replacement
30.62.San Diego Chargers-Jon Abbate, ILB, Wake Forest
They’re likely letting Edwards go, need someone in the middle
31.63.Chicago Bears-Stewart Bradley, OLB, Nebraska
They definitely need to fill the hole left by Lance Briggs
32.64.Tampa Bay (from Indianapolis)-Brandon Meriweather, S, Miami (FL)
Gruden hopes lightning strikes twice and Brandon is this year’s Hester

Oscar Oscar, who will win?!

Yes, last night was an event that my mother and I used to bet on, watch and enjoy together for the majority of my life. It was the night of the Academy Awards, a night full of glamour, celebrities and heavy trophies given to folks who deserve them. Well, that's what they tell you during the commercials at least. If we really think about it it's a night of bad dresses (least last night was), sometimes an entertaining host (two years in a row of good hosts, who knew that was possible), and awards so heavy folks kept putting it on the floor.

There were some pleasant surprises (Alan Arkin winning won yay team), some expected wins (God Save The Queen And All That), and a few disappointments (Pan's Labyrinth not winning best Foreign Film let alone Best Picture is a crime). Judging by the results of this year and the past few years I think I can successfully predict what next year's winner will be in the main categories.

Best Supporting Actor will be an old actor who has had a decent career for over twenty years.

The Actress awards will be split between an old actress (likely British) and an upcoming actress who has only done a few GOOD movies but plenty of stinkers (bonus points if they stared in sequels to an 80s franchise).

Best Actor will be a political statement of some kind, be it the first person of that nationality to win the award or his movie was somehow politically themed (bonus points for playing someone of having some kind of physical defect).

Best Picture will be some kind of Ensemble piece that doesn't really have any right to win, but will take the award none the less. The Best Director will be whoever directs this movie.

If you don't believe me, look up the winners for the last five years, in almost every case (with a few exceptions) that has been the case. Expect this formula to come into play next year where I will go undefeated next year in the major categories. I would hope that Stephen Colbert would host the Oscars, but Hollywood has a hard time some time laughing at itself, as seen as the problem they had with the humor of Jon Stewart. I thought Ellen did a great job last night, said just the right things and brought her type of humor to the event. It was also nice to see Carrie Fisher once again writing for the Oscars.

A few other thoughts about last night's Oscars:

I wonder how many conservatives felt revolted when Melissa Ethridge kissed her wife and thanked her WIFE in her acceptance.

Jennifer Hudson blew Beyonce out of the water with her voice, sadly there was no Jay-Z to cry to about being upstaged once again.

Will Ferrell plus Jack Black plus John C Reilly equals comedy GOLD. Sadly only one half of the D was present.

Who the fuck had the smart idea of having the choir of people who wish they were as good as Larvell Jones. If you would have taken that out of the program the show would have been over by midnight.

On the other hand, those white screen dancing folks we're fucking money.

I would have saved time and money and forgot about both of those segments and just had a beat boxer there to do the themes from the films up for Best Picture.

Forest Whitaker should have won the award for being in Bloodsport alone.

Clint Eastwood will die the fuckin man, then he will become a zombie and still be the fuckin man.

It took me an hour to realize the crazy bald man they kept showing was Jack.

Al Gore should use all this momentum, he should use this since people have seen that he is more then just a politician to take his rightful place as President of these United States.

Finally folks, one none Oscar related deal. I spent the morning reading these and if you're a fan of comics and have wondered what the Civil War is all about give it a good read. My favorite parts are the lines for Wolverine and what they do to the Punisher.

Why dear god why?!

You may be wondering why I have this picture up of Ahmed Johnson, perhaps you are assuming that this is another wrestling post? You would be assuming wrong my friend, and it is likely the last reason you would ever expect.

I was looking for some kind of random image for this post so I began Google Image Searching various combinations of words. Friday February, Friday Funny, etc, etc, etc. I decided to go with Ninja Animal, and that is where I saw Ahmed Johnson. Why, I'm not really sure he was never any type of...ninja. Hell, ninjas are stealthy and deadly killers as where Ahmed was deadly but that was due to his sloppy in ring work.

So yes, it's Friday, no link there. Nothing new really to say, you all know that the show is tomorrow night so fun times there. Definitely a busy time since I have many many promos and additional footage to shoot before the show. It will be a great show though, maybe the best one we've ever put on. At the very least it has the capability to be the best show we've ever had.

As you have probably noticed by now the MSM has not let go of this whole Anna Nicole Smith thing. Sure this Judge is the biggest douche of a judge since one named Ito, but come on. Bury the bitch already before she rises from the dead and starts eating everyone...let's just hope she starts with that slimy lawyer/husband/whatever of her's first. Course I mention Zombies, I just finished reading the first five TPBs of The Walking Dead and so naturally it's on my mind. I mean I shouldn't be walking around the Pentagon City Mall and thinking how good of a location it is for shelter due to the lack of public access doors, the spacious floor, the food court, and the glass ceiling gives plenty of natural light.

I also have to work tonight at Kellys Irish Times, which would not be a problem but I'm working upstairs. See all of us DJs HATE working upstairs mainly because you only have a stool, you're elevated, getting drinks is a bitch, going to the bathroom is more of one, and there is basically no socializing. I get stuck with upstairs because the manager likes me, they get a kick out of my wrestling end of night, and apparently one of the other DJs pissed them off to where he can't work up there, allegedly.

Nothing else to report, work, work, work, party, work, blah, blah, blah, I now need the next book of Walking Dead...so for your enjoyment I give you a great musician...

Blogs Of The World

Just a few random blogs for your enjoyment.

Britney thinks she can imitate Jack? Not so face loopy Lucy. You do not imitate the man, especially over the man who will have full custody of your children soon.

Poor bastard, in a world where most people don’t do anything to help their common man this guy gets arrested when he honestly tries to help…with a sword no less.

It’s no secret that I love me some beat boxing, I just wish I could cook like this cat.

Ah, Christian Parents once again using their children to push their political message. I’m all for the kid being allowed to dress as Jesus, just so long as the kid dressed as the Roman Soldier is able to crucify him.

I’m not fan of old age but I hope if I live this old to be as cool as these two women. Quick side note, I want to fight this Senator in a bar fight.

Apparently it’s official our National Guard units being sent to Iraq and Afghanistan are now the Russian Army in World War II.

I Wish I Was A Balla

Jason Whitlock has a very interesting article up over at AOL about this past weekend's NBA All Star Weekend. Now if you haven't read this or heard about this in the last few days this may come as a surprise to you. Probably due to the fact that ESPN, the NBA and the MSM have not really reported anything about this weekend other then "it was a complete success". Sure, a HUGE success, if we're talking about arrest quotas.

One incident involves the man pictured, Nelly, and a NFL player Pacman Jones. Now this isn't the first time or even the second time Jones has gotten trouble in an incident at some type of club. From what I can gather from various places, at the strip club he was putting singles up on the floor where the ladies were dancing. The some other lady came by and started taking them, this is when he decided to start smashing her head into the dance floor. The bouncers tried to get him and his people to leave, allegedly his bouncers were the ones who shot the "employees". This is the type of behavior that Whitlock is speaking of.

A quick sidenote, if I'm the Titans I'd get rid of Jones finally. There are now Trailblazers in the NFL, but the Bengals are working their way there, ship his happy ass to Cinci.

As I drove home yesterday this was all that Riggins Radio was talking about. What they were saying may be why I don't really watch the NBA anymore, it has become this Thug mentality. I understand people are born and bred on the streets, but you have twenty million dollars in the bank, you can stop acting like a thug. Why are athletes constantly getting busted for pot, DUIs, assault and various other crimes? I remember growing up and the thing that mattered most to the players back then was winning. Now it appears that people could care less as long as they get theirs and continue to look tough. I believe Dave Chapelle referred to it as "Keeping it real".

Lamont Jordan called the show and talked about how some of this is the media's doing. That the media only shows light on the negativity that athletes do, not the positive things they do for the communities. I can agree to do that, the media would much rather run a story about how Jonathan Babineaux killed his girlfriend's dog then about how the various charities and organizations they help support and fund. The only instance I can think of when they did this is when Reggie Bush did those things for New Orleans, but that was because it was Reggie Bush.

There is another argument though for Mr. Jordan to confront, the fact that the media does not make up these stories. The players themselves allow this to transpire, the media is not forcing them to be arrested and being in the middle of shootings, murders and the like. I think Ray Lewis learned from his mistake of being around the wrong people and has since cleaned up his image/life. As long as people like Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, Chad Johnson and the like continue to act the way they do the media will report that instead of activities of say a Troy Brown. It is fine to come from a rough neighborhood, a broken home, a dysfunctional family and the like. What is not OK is to continue to act like a thug, for lack of a better word, when life has handed you a gift.

Yes, I said a gift. There is not one person reading this who at one point in their life wished in some form to become some kind of sport superstar. We all had sport role models growing who told us to say your prayers, eat your vitamins (no not those vitamins Barry), drink milk, study, read and all various other kinds of things. Growing up I saw Walter Payton, Ronnie Lott, Mike Singletary and others be positive role models. I don't care if you agree with Charles Barkley when he says, "He man, we're not role models." You may not want to be, but the situation you are makes you one whether you want it or not. Average Joe off the street does not get to become the celebrity spokesman for Old Spice deodorant they give it to the celebrity because people LOOK UP TO THEM.

Now one argument is that it's this hip-hop, rap, culture that is bringing this kind of mentality out. The only merit I give that is a story (I read it this week but don't remember where) that was about this basketball player's desire to be part of Jay-Z's posse. What? You're an NBA start, making millions of dollars and your desire is to be part of a posse? I have a tremendous amount of respect for Jay-Z as an entertainer and businessman, but is he giving out gold plated diapers for his posse? Does each member get a former member of Destiny's Child as his own personal bitch? He did not once mention a desire for a championship ring and that is why the NBA is in the downward spiral that it's been for the last decade.

Some may claim this is a race attack, but I will disagree. One, the article was written by a black man. Two, they are far from the only group of people who acting like thugs nowadays in sports. Those who would say something as such will never admit to there ever being a problem, who see it is as their culture which in the end I feel does more harm then good. If some of these stories start making the MSM, investigations are begun, then it could get really ugly for some folks. Then again though, money talks, and they certainly have plenty to spend.

EWA Free Friday Nights

As some of you may or may not know I commentate for a local wrestling promotion out of the Baltimore area called The EWA. I've been doing this since the spring of 2006 and I now have enough equipment and gadgets to give to you a few matches from last Friday's Free show.

Now I apologize now, I was a bit rattled by being stuck in traffic for two hours, had no water or beer for that matter so this isn't my best night of commentary...

The City That Never Sleeps

We have returned successfully and safely from New York City and what a time was had. I don't know what I expected when I went to NYC but I am very glad that I never act like a tourist whenever I go to a city. Let me make a simple explanation, I HATE tourists. Folks when visiting a city please move at a normal pace as to not slow down the rest of us who have some semblance of where the fuck we are going. I know there are many pretty lights on Times Square, but that does not give you the right to walk like a ninety year old man in a walker with a bad hip.

Other then the tourists, we had a great time. The weather really worked well for us, until Sunday night when the wind decided to see if it could kill us walking home from the bar. One of the best parts of the trip was getting to see my cousin who works in NYC. I have not seen him since my sister's wedding and it was a blast seeing him and meeting his new woman...even if she is a Broncos fan. Though a memo to drivers out there, I know it was Daytona weekend and all, but if you insist on driving like a bat out of hell don't yell and the man who you just drove the side of your car into. This was your fault, no need to come out like gangbusters, even if you're from Texas.

Our Hotel was very nice, small but we had no need for a lot of room. Though if you could see me taking a shit on a toilet where I am sitting at a 45 degree angle because there wasn't leg space you surely would laugh. I highly suggest Hotel Mayfair whenever you go to NYC. It's right next to Chicago and Spring Awakening and very cheap for the location. It is a beautiful place and we plan to spend all our trips to NYC in that place.

Now, let me explain something to all my faithful readers. Evil Dead The Musical may be the greatest thing that has ever been created in Canada. The original movie was billed as The Ultimate Experience in Grueling Terror; this play could very well be labeled as The Ultimate Experience in Comedy Musical Excellence. The cast was great, charismatic, and as Anita said, "Every single thing you thought while watching the movie is said during this play." We even came out of the theater with a "blood" soaked tablecloth that Ash used to cut off his hand. How, well a stage hand, my lady, and a guy's girlfriend who gave him shit for snatching it out of her hand. Yes, I now own a part of this play and it will go up (once dry) in my shrine of geekdom. Oh, and a quick word to the wise, if you hear Anita and I saying Stupid Bitch to each other have no worries, this comes from the play.

Spamalot was enjoyable as I expected it to be. I can see the original cast in their roles and knew how good this play was when it first opened. Even the replacements did a great job which says how well this play is written. My hat goes off to Eric Idle for doing this, way to bring in those who wouldn't bother watching Monty Python and expanding the audience to one of the greatest comedies of all time. It was scary how much the guy who was playing Arthur looked and sounded like Tim Curry.

Trash and Vaudeville was as great of a store as I was expecting it to be. So many pieces of clothing that I wanted to buy but couldn't because I am not your average skinny kid. I know, I know, I have to get into the gym since it is Spring Training and kickball is coming up, this trip merely reminded me of that fact.

Quick side note for the geeks out there, the co-director of the EDTM is none other then Hinton Battle. You all know him as the music demon Sweet from the Buffy Musical episode Once More With Feeling.

It was a great trip and we should go back again soon as we have to see Wicked sometime this millennium.

Weekend of Geekdom

My apologies to the lack of updates yesterday, but since the Federal Government was open with Unscheduled Leave Anita and I decided to take advantage of the situation and stayed home. Well, we stayed home during the morning. After that I needed to take care of a few items before we left for NYC tomorrow morning. You know typical things like bank, haircut, Best Buy, you know the deal. The good thing is I did manage to get a hold of my cousin who lives in NYC and I should get to see him too, which will be nice, it's been a few years since I've seen him. This is sad since we are the only two members of the family who currently don't reside in California let alone on the East Coast.

Now some of you may be asking yourself, why is this the weekend of Geekdom? Well, if you couldn't tell from the poster, we are attending Evil Dead The Musical. Not just Evil Dead the musical, not just the splatter zone (which we're smack dab in the middle of), but also the FINAL EDTM show in NYC. This was not announced until AFTER we bought our tickets to the show, so lucky us. Who knows, maybe a certain chin that could kill might be in attendance, here's to hoping.

Along with that we are going to not only Off-Broadway but also Broadway for a show. During work today I decided to look up some shows and see what I could find for Anita and I. Wicked, all sold out even the Premium Seating. Phantom, nose bleeds or Premium but there's a chance we'd be late to EDTM. Avenue Q, available with a guarantee almost of no children. Forbidden Broadway, not Broadway but rumored to be hilarious. Then I decided to give Spamalot a chance and...BAM! So Sunday night we will be dancing with the Knights of the Round Table, and Patsy.

My first trip to NYC and I get to see the two shows I want to see most of all, I'm quite proud of our accomplishments. I'm also going to the clothing store I've wanted to go to for years (Trash and Vaudeville) and maybe even spit on Yankee Stadium, we'll see if there's time.

Add all of that on to the fact we have a free show tonight in Essex, which I have to fight traffic to get to, and we have a very busy next few days.

Happy V-Day

V-Day...as in victory day? Sure why not, it's the best V-Day I've had...probably ever. We all want someone to love, whether we admit it or not, and V-Day is the day the corporations decided we should all show that love...other then birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. I for one love Anita and I don't need a special day to show that. So what if I gave her a few things this V-Day, she's earned it, she puts up with me doesn't she?

So driving to work this morning I discovered two facts about Anna Nicole Smith that I felt I should share with everyone. Now these are not things you would hear on the MSM or even Fox Opinion Network, now these lil nuggets of geniusness came from my own noggin. One, there is only one person capable of dealing with this baby father business. He has YEARS of experience on the subject and the only source we should all trust. I am of course talking about Maury Povich, the one man who can swim through the alleged fathers and come out with the real poppa. Though I don't know how he would handle with this many men actually wanting to BE the father. The second is something we should all just accept now before it becomes public knowledge. We all know who the child's father is...

Kevin Federline.

South of Heaven

My co-worker bought an iPod about a month ago and as such we listen to his music once Elliot in the Morning is off the air. Today he has decided that Tuesdays Gone, namely it's Lynyrd Skynyrd day. I have no problem with this, and not just because my Uncle drives their tour bus. My mother raised my on Lynyrd Skynyrd, many of my favorite songs come from Skynyrd, hell my favorite band growing up was Skynyrd. It may shock some people, perhaps since they sport the stars and bars so much, but they're merely targeting their audience. I mean hell, it's called SOUTHERN rock for a reason, and you’re selling towards the south. As far as we have come in this country, the south still believes in the stars and bars, and yes I know how sad that really is.

I love the music because it's good, nay it's great, rock and roll. Freebird is still in my top five of songs of all time. Is there a better guitar solo out there then the live version of Freebird? My sole reason for wanting to learn how to play the guitar is learning how to play Freebird. Just to rock out on one song for ten minutes, you just don't see that anymore.

This leads me to the grammys, which congrats to the DC, I'm sure it is well deserved but music today sucks. They tried passing it off as they had performances for anyone's taste...unless you like your music hard. Plenty of rap, pop, emo, and dance but where was the ROCK?! The following are the performers for the evening...
Christina Aguilera doing James Brown
Beyoncé-R&B/Pop
James Blunt-Pop
Mary J. Blige-Rap
Chris Brown, Lionel Richie & Smokey Robinson-R&B
Dixie Chicks-Country
Justin Timberlake-Dance
Ludacris, Mary J. Blige & Earth, Wind & Fire-Rap
Gnarls Barkley -Dance
John Legend, John Mayer & Corinne Bailey Rae-Who the fuck knows
The Police -Pop
Red Hot Chili Peppers-Sell Outs
Shakira & Wyclef Jean -R&B
Justin Timberlake, Robyn Troup, & T.I.-Dance/R&B
Carrie Underwood & Rascal Flatts -Country

Where is the ROCK?! The Chili Peppers? Maybe if this was 1992, but they seem to have gone the same way Metallica and The Beastie Boys went and "evolved". You had Wolfmother and Slayer win Grammys, but no performance. Is everyone so bent out of shape the night that Rage Against The Machine went fuckin loco on stage and started climbing shit? Release us from your craptastic music hold on the radio, on the MSM, and deliver us from the horror you have unleashed up this world.

The main awards were basically a contest between six groups/singers; Gnarls Barkley (who I do enjoy), Dixie Chicks (who I respect), James Blunt(zzzz), Mary J Blige (don't care either way), Justin Timberlake (who I have gained a good deal of respect for as an entertainer) and Corinne Bailey Rae (whoever the fuck that is). It was nice to see the Chicks win and all, and at least they have some edge, but where the fuck is the music that supposed to make you feel?

Where are the songs that get you emotionally evolved and not just a song you could bop your head to or could be made into a catchy jingle? There used to be passion in writing music, people put their hearts into songs, Hey Jude was written to one of the Beatle kids for crying out loud. Please, I wish there was some savior on the horizon to deliver us for this evil. Sadly Rollins Band doesn't tour much anymore, Dimebag is dead, Metallica sold out, and Skynyrd is only one person after the plane crash. Please deliver us from these money hungry whores who will give us reheated shit for music, until then we have to keep on keeping on. We must cling to the backs of bands that have been there for us through thick and thin, through Ace of Base and Chumbawamba.

Rollins Band, Slayer, Lamb of God, Anthrax, Tech N9ne, Megadeath, I salute you for your constant deliverance of great music. You stand tall among bands who sell their souls just for some face time on TRL. Please continue to rock to your heart's content and we will stand by you till Xenu comes and kills us all.

Ten Things I Worry About

Ten on Tuesday

10.The Grizzly/Polar Bear Hybrids, are they just the bears solution to an all climate killing machine that will maul us no matter what the season?
9.Will the Oakland A's decide to finally go up one more level and actually make it to the World Series this year?
8.What is married life is going to be like.
7.Will the Cleveland Browns do the SMART thing this year and continue to work on our lines, or will we make the mistake of some Offensive Player like Troy Smith or Tedd Ginn Jr. Say it with me folks, Alan Branch.
6.Will the Oakland A's ever keep our youthful star players who are NOT named Chavez?
5.Now the Joss Whedon is off of Wonder Woman, will he finally get around to finishing the Buffy and Angel story?
4.Is the inner compass of my being broken as to what I want to do with my life when it comes to a profession?
3.Will David Lynch ever give the fans what they want and finally finish the Twin Peaks story?
2.What if Scientology is somewhat correct and there's this big bad out there named Xenu who wants us all dead? Because with this administration we'd be surely fucked.
1.Will my grandmother ever get to meet Anita before her time?

The Problems in the Wrestling World

I know many wrestling fans out there have been bitching and moaning for some time with the direction the wrestling world has taken since Vince McMahon bought WCW and ECW all those years ago. Sure, some of it has to do with no competition. Hell, when he was competing with the NWA and making his company the first world wide company in the 80s it was hot. Then NWA began to fall, Turner bought it, and then the WWF went into a rut. When Eric Bischoff took over, the nWo came about, and WCW took over ratings Vince had to claw his way back to the top.

For the last few years Vince has been the only big dog in the yard and when that happens, the big dog tends to get lazy. Sure there is TNA, and even if they have Christian, Joe and Angle right now, they're no real threat at this point. Vince has gone back to pushing the muscle bound oafs who CAN'T entertain for the life of them. Sure they have the look, but they have no charisma. It is very sad when John Cena has the most charisma right now of their champions. Course, look at two of them what are they? Nothing but big muscle bound guys with a great personal story, but ZERO charisma. Diesel was a big man, but he has charisma coming out the ass. Warrior, huge muscle bound oaf, but no matter what his psychotic issues are, he had charisma. What I am trying to get at it there is a lack of entertainment in the WWE.

At least in TNA they have entertainment; Alex Shelley, Austin Starr, Christian Cage, LAX, these men have something that the WWE doesn't have. Do I want to see Edge and Orton beat up another person with a chair for the tenth week in a row? Do I want to continue to see the pointless battle of the Hardys and MNM, well yes because they actually give good matches for the most part, but do you see my point? All I see on the WWE is the same recycled crap week in, week out. Instead of pushing people WITH charisma (Monty Brown, CM Punk, and Kennedy who I admit has got a tiny one) they continue to put on TV the likes of...Chris Masters. I yearn for wrestling that we had what seemed like only yesterday; a mere ten years ago wrestling was a beautiful landscape and may have never been bigger.

With that in mind, with the future kickball season approaching, I was inspired today by one of the greatest moments of that time and one that I shall share with you right now. The date was August 9, 1999. It is Monday Night Raw, they had climbed their way back to the top and were once again number one. Up until this point though, they hadn't really stolen any of the WCW talent, until now. I introduce to you what to expect this coming season of kickball....the ayatollah of rock'n'rolla...the paragon of virtue for the entire free world...and what the wrestling world needs right now almost more then an Austin vs. Hogan Wrestlemania...

Happy V-Day Folks

Apparently it was a great week for SNL

Just below Bill Clinton....

Every now and then this year SNL has delivered a great skit, almost always on Weekend Update. I now give to you...the Blackness Scale...

Meanwhile, back in the Batcave...

It was a very interesting weekend a humble Shane Manor over the weekend. I met Anita at Best Buy after work because I thought we could pick up a movie for the night. A nice, solid plan for a Friday night; a night that we had no desire to go out. I enter into Best Buy and go to the movie section, where we agreed to meet at, and alas she is nowhere to be found. I then see her walking up from the TV section with a grin as if she just stole a child's giant lollipop.

You see we had been using her roommate's old TV in her room ever since she moved to Maryland. Tired of the ten year old set, and the fact that she hadn't spent much money as of yet, she elected to buy a new TV for her bedroom. Sadly she would not go with my suggestion of a tiny 30" HD TV, though we did go with the 20" Flat Screen. Now mind you it has already been decided that after we marry next year the first order of business is buying a big screen TV, yes I do get wet just thinking about that. She wanted a preview of what to expect and thought it might be the very nice 50" she saw. I had to educate her what a 62" is and how beautiful it is, the glory of it, something you could sacrifice a child to, truly something to worship.

After picking up that, Accepted (great movie if you've never seen it), my anniversary present to her (The Lost Boys DVD) and Law and Order:SVU Season One we headed home. Yes, I realize there is likely never a time we could turn on the TV and NOT find a Law and Order, we really like SVU and usually watch it before we go to sleep at night so it merely made sense.

Now the big event of the weekend was the creation of the new Bat-computer. About a month ago my old computer decided to implode while I attempted to render the October show for DVD Creation. As such I had to create myself a new computer from scratch, with the help of my friend JM. It is now built, almost brought up to where it was prior and so so pretty. It will really help with my DVD creation, and with it I bought a new 22" screen which I love like my own son.

Nothing much else happened over the weekend other then my Frankenstein creation; complete with Superman keyboard and mouse because...well I'm THAT guy apparently.

I love the fact that Rep. Anthony Weiner is such a dick to the worst Rep in the US...proves that at least a few Dems in Congress have a pair...

Head Meet Desk

Certain people shouldn't touch these new-fangled machines. I will post more about the weekend later, but a quick taste of what my morning has been like so far.

Cast
OBWSTM-Old Broad Who Shouldn't Touch Machines
Me-Your soon to be homicidal hero

OBWSTM-I had her scan something to my machine and...oh there it is...(minimizes it)...wait, where did it go?!

Me-(sigh) You minimized it...again...see the bottom right hand corner? Click on Paperport.

OBWSTM-There's no Paper...oh, that one, ok. Oh, THERE it is.

Mind you this is the lady who whenever she needs something from Outlook she opens it. So naturally when she complains about her computer running slow it's because she has ten copies of Outlook open, six Internet explorers, three copies of word, two copies of power point and a partridge in a pear tree.

I love my baby...

...because this sums it all up.

Anita:

GAH!

That is me filling out THOUSANDS OF PAGES of paperwork.

Sigh.

But the firm wanted to know what kind of drinks I prefer at events, and apparently thinks "beer drinking" is a legitimate hobby.

You are listed as my "significant other". So signficant! So... other :).

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday...

...yes, this is how I have felt this week at work. This might be the first week here at my job that I've spent the majority of the week ACTUALLY working, this is truly sad. I love the IT jobs that there isn't much to do, and you can sit back, relax, and collect cash money. Sadly, this week was not one of those weeks, as we saw by the lack of updates during the second half of this week. Naturally having new images for people, restricting their rights and the like has raised the anger of some of these "customers". Personally, I could give a fuck less, fuck em, they haven't earned the right to have Spider Solitaire or iTunes on their machines. There is a handful of people in this office that I would trust with their computers, but when I say handful I truly mean only one hand.

I must say that last night's episode of Supernatural may have been one of the best I have seen since the series began. Sam proved he can act beyond the land of emoville, he can get downright...scary. Hell, at one point I thought he would be a beautiful choice to play Harvey Dent/Two-Face. You really saw it this episode, such a lovely job of television. It's episodes like that that make me disgusted by award shows like the Emmys. I've watched some of their "best" shows, and they're garbage. While better shows are left to fend for themselves, just because they're not on one of the major networks or a subscription channel.

A few quick blog links to go check out
Reason Blog has a great blog about the geniuses up in Washington and their fight against Washington's Supreme Court ruling on marriage. Kiki gives you a great description of a conversation about this topic, very amusing.

Glenn Greenwald has a great piece up about the Edwards' bloggers and how the blogooshpere has changed the political and news landscape.

I could speak on the news of the first openly gay former NBA player, even if I've never heard of the guy and I'm pretty up sports. I could speak of of Anna Nicole Smith's death, but that link pretty much sums it up. Hell, Bam Bam Bigelow just died, a legend in his own right. A man who was more respected around the world then that blonde bimbo, and his death was never mentioned. She dies, and the world stopped spinning, we had to blow up a nuke in the Earth's core just to get it spinning again...wait...that was the premise of The Core, one of the worst movies ever made.

Actually, even though this was a week I could have done without (save for 24, Heroes, Supernatural and the return of Lost) karma did reward me yesterday. Not only did my new Canon GL2 arrive, the tripod arrived and Anita's roommate must have been home yesterday as all my new computer parts were successfully delivered as well. So tomorrow afternoon I will spend it building my new Batcave computer, any suggestions for naming this sucker?

This weekend will be quiet, mainly because next weekend Anita will be taking to NYC for the first time in my life. Yes, I've driven through it, landed at the airport and all, but I have never spent time in NYC itself. We're going as my gift for Valentine's Day, and we're going for the last NYC showing of AWESOMENESS. I am so excited for that words cannot express how excited...almost to the point of singing, but not quite. So, for your viewing pleasure...
Evil Dead the Musical: TV commercial



Add to My Profile

And there shall be the peace...

...or that's what I thought when I wrote the Title of this blog. Then, as I begin to look for an appropriate image to go along with this post, the vapid old lady...wait, I shouldn't say that. You see, she's not the only old lady who works in my office and does not understand how to work these new fangled machines they call...COMPUTERS...say it with me now, kuhm-pyoo-ter. I swear I am constantly asked questions a five year old would know the answer to. I understand that you didn't have them growing up, but they've been in the government sector over ten years now and you've been here longer then that. So when do you think you'll finally get the hang of this wonderous and obviously evil black magic machine?

I mean, really, when I say open Adobe (a program you use on a regular basis) how can you hear that to mean open a word document. Wait...what? You stood there, watched what I did, and then still opened a word document. You know why, because you never listen to a fucking word we ever say and it's annoying the shit out of your IT slaves.

It's bad enough I actually have to do work this week, but this also brings me into close contact with three of our users who I wouldn't trust to stop drop and roll if they were on fire. You know why our Government is a mess at times? Because, unlike other countries, our best and brightest don't come work here they go work in corporations where they will actually be paid and as such we get the C and D students.

I swear, half the time I just want to give these people a piece of paper and a crayon and say here ya go, this is all we trust you with at this juncture. Perhaps I'm being a little hard on people who should have retired five years ago, but I'm sorry you're fucking with my chi.

I mean I was all ready to relax before Tweeder Dee came over to my desk to ask the same question she asks every week. That was the final straw for the day and I just want to sit down, relax, and forget about this fucking place for just a little bit.

Tomorrow will be much of the same, if not worse.

When I say I've been busy today...

...I mean I haven't sat down at my desk for longer then thirty minutes.

Why is it that the majority of my day has also been spent in the company of those in my office that just completely grate my nerves and bug the ever living shit out of me.

Tomorrow isn't looking so bright either, hopefully everything will return to some kind of normal on Monday.

Really?!...WOW....SERIOUSLY?!

And I thought I was fuckin nuts, I have nothing on this lady....just...wow...I know some DND players more...SANE then this lady. Trust me folks, watch this Ninja Turtle Lady...

Thoughts on Hump Day

Yes, work continues to be busy this week so sadly not too many updates today. So I'm merely going to give you a few quick thoughts while I sit here during lunch.

24-We all knew Morris was going to be the Engineer, the only way it could have been better would have been...well, let us just say there would have been a reading rainbow.

24-Powers Booth as the Vice President, Roark is now the Vice President, just as Frank Miller predicted. I'm sad that Leland Palmer isn't in this season, so far, but he's been appearing everywhere lately so that keeps me happy. Hell, last night he was on SVU.

Heroes-We all knew Claire's father was going to be, which makes her crush on someone just a lil bit West Virginian. Though, since they already had Sulu I would have loved to seen her father been someone from TNG like Riker or Picard.

Lost-It comes back tonight, does anyone else remember anything else that happened the last time we saw it other then a surgery, sex, and a smoke house?

Paul Bremer-Even the crazy ass astronaut who wore a diaper 900 miles to go all Marv on another woman think's you're completely and utterly fucked. I don't need to mention why, if you're reading blogs I'm sure you've heard about Northstar and the TONS of cash elsewhere.

ECW-Monty Brown needs to be the leader of the "New Breed", not Elijah Burke. I like EB and all, but come on; Monty is a Main Eventer where EB is a high mid-carder at best. Plus, Snitsky needs his hair back. He looks like a MS version of Kane with everything shaved off.

Wonder Woman-Joss is off the project, good, he can go back to doing what he does best, and turning his TV shows into movies. Joss, we expect an Angel/Buffy movie now...so get off your ASS! Also, if you want to delay that by stopping by Smallville and taking over for that we'll approve of that as well.

Supernatural-So Sam is going to turn into a killer this week...almost reeks of revealing Laura Palmer's killer too early.

Work-This place is fucking clown shoes.

A Brit I Can Respect

Crooks and Liars Once again find an excellent place of information, very educational...

I Wish I Knew...

...how to speak THIS language.

Yes, she is hot, great voice, and I think it is hilarious...even if I can't understand it.

A Bit Busy Today

Yeah, it will be a hectic week so my posts may not be as much. As such here is my Ten for Tuesday. Sadly I cannot put ten movies that have made me cry, so I'm going to include TV Episodes as well.

10.Titanic-Yes, I cried at the end of this movie but not for the reasons you think. It was tears of joy seeing Jack sink to the bottom of the Atlantic. A quick note, that is not the time to jump up and cheer when surrounded by teenage girls who are weeping.
9.Return of the Living Dead 3-I kid you not, I balled at the end. It was a very touching death scene between two people who were so in love.
8.Farscape The Peacekeepers War-When Dargo dies, anyone who watched Farscape understands that Dargo going was even more traumatic then when the pilot died on Serenity.
7.Twin Peaks:Fire Walk With Me-The final scene, for those of us who are obsessed with the show.
6.Varsity Blues-Laugh it up furball, but I grew up on high school football and that scene after they win they game touches me right down to the cockles of my heart.
5.Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan-Maybe the first movie I even cried at, I cried when I was a kid when Spock died. I mean come on, it's mother fucking Spock!
4.BTVS, Season 7:Chosen-Spike gave his life to save Buffy and everyone else because unlike Angel, he choses to be a hero.
3.Buffy, Season 3:Becoming Part 2-Buffy has to kill Angel to save the world, how can you not tear up at that moment?
2.Buffy, Season 5:The Gift-Giving ones life to save the world...speaks volumes about me, maybe too much about me, I'll be quiet now.
1.Armageddon-I'm sorry, John McLain speaking to his daughter one final time is just heartbreaking. I don't care who you are, but that shit if fuckin emotional.

Impressions

This was one of my first, and probably best impression that I do...

A Very Slow Monday

So something for you to laugh at until work is over...

Greatest Super Bowl Commercial Ever

In the sense of the season...

Super Sunday...

Super Bowl Sunday, a National holiday for the majority of the USA, and sadly I had to watch Peyton Manning win a ring...god I hate that douche bag. Yes, I was cheering for the Bears, despite the repugnant nature of their fans during the NFC Championship game. Add Peyton Manning with a coach I respect for his abilities but not his beliefs (hardcore Christian, very anti-gay) and you have a team I can easily cheer against. It was a decent enough game until the fourth quarter when Rex Grossman remembered he was...Rex Grossman. Of course Devin Hester returned the opening kickoff, he's a Hurricane back in Miami, and it naturally made sense. A part of me is still shocked Manning was able to beat a Florida QB in Florida though.

Commercials were decent enough, with Bud Light and CareerBuilder.com as the front runners for the funniest commercials. Bud Light threw a perfect game, and I loved the gladiator office, sounds way to fun to me. Yes, I want to do a gladiator office in this place, could alleviate many things in my head. It was also nice to see Carlos Mencia get introduced to the national audience, he deserves to get very well known, damn funny comedian.

I know many are talking about how awesome Prince was, and I sure he was, but I was outside smoking a clove and didn't really hear any of it. Though I'm sure there was no music from Batman and so naturally I'm disappointed. I understand wearing the Dolphins colors because you're in Miami, other then that I have no idea why he wore what he wore. I mean, was he afraid of getting hit in the dark by a car?

On a side note, I understand that the NFL doesn't want to play the Super Bowl in any stadium where weather may be a factor, but does that matter any more? I mean yesterday's game was played in a monsoon, why can't they play in a blizzard in Green Bay? I think the Super Bowl should rotate to every NFL stadium, it’s only fair. It helps generate revenue for cities that don't have the usually large tourist base, which places like Miami and San Diego already have. I would love to see San Diego vs. Tampa Bay in Buffalo with snow falling six feet deep. Also, lower your ticket prices so that the real fans can actually afford to go to the Super Bowl. Yesterday was ridiculous; the Super Bowl should not be so empty that it looked like a Dolphins home game.

Anita and I went and saw The Messengers on Friday night, and as entertaining as it was we couldn't shake the feeling that we had seen it before. Was it the smoking man from the X-Files? No, that wasn't it...perhaps the leading man from My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Still, just not quite close enough...oh I know what it was! It was the fact that the movie could have been called The Grudge: North Dakota. Decent movie and all, we enjoyed it, but it was still The Grudge: North Dakota.

Whose Side Are You On?!

Bear VS Colt

One of the best sites this year

Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

So here you go, the ten baddest muddas of all time baby...least to me these are the then villains I get the biggest kick out of.

10. The Hunter-Bambi

Yes, let the hate mail begin. Yes, the Hunter from Bambi is one of my favorite villains ever. Why, do you really need to ask yourself that? Sure he isn't an unstoppable killing machine like a Jason Voorhees or a Michael Meyers, but this bad man killed Bambi's mother! He must have ice water for blood.

9.Frank Booth-Blue Velvet

Dennis Hopper is an icon when it comes to creepy, bad assery, but it may have reached its zenith when he played Frank Booth. The man is truly demented in the ways some people could never imagine. In one part of the movie with abusing nitrates and abusing a singer he says "Don't you fucking look at me!" and "Mommy, mommy, baby wants to fuck!" Dude is the kind of sick along the lines of Alex from Clockwork Orange and easily earns a spot on my top ten list. It is also fitting that someone so bad is killed by someone who...well he isn't really completely good, but Dale Cooper makes his first capture before joining the FBI and after he had conquered the galaxy on Arakis...desert planet...Dune.

8.John Doe-Se7en.

Kevin Spacey has done so many beautiful roles over the years it was hard to pick just one. He brought Lex Luthor to level he always should have been, and was beautiful in The Usual Suspects. This role however is deeply disturbing on the level of psyche this person had to have. I mean this guy brought new meaning to the word sick; he used acid on his own fingers to eliminate finger prints! Course any man who beheads Gwyneth Paltrow is a hero here in the asylum.

7.The Shark-Jaws

I pick only the original, not the bastard children it begot in Jaws 2, or the cousins, aunts, nephews, former roommates for the other two sequels. It has kept people out of the water for so long it has to be placed for longevity. Hell, I still don't into the water that much...and that includes pools. I'm sorry, I saw this movie WAY too early in life and it definitely damaged me. Thankfully I can watch it now and enjoy the hell out of it...not like Poltergeist.

6.Freddy Krueger-A Nightmare On Elm St. Series

Freddy Krueger, the son of a hundred maniacs, killer of the children of Elm St., burned alive by vengeful parents and turned into the creature of our nightmares. A great and original premise that has kept going strong for over two decades now. Not only is he creative, but his villainy wit may be second only to the Joker. He killed Johnny Depp long before anyone had ever heard of Jump Street or the Black Pearl. Never at a loss for words, the man ever skewered Zsa Zsa Gabor.

5.Hans Gruber-Die Hard

Here there, Mister Cowboy. Hans Gruber, a man not afraid to kill a whole lot of people just to get his German hands on a few million dollars. Hey, I can't blame him, there were plenty of people in that movie that needed some killing and he was more then happy to oblige, even with a few quips while he was at it. How can you go against a man who says, "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." The benefits of a classical education. and; I wanted this to be professional. Efficient, adroit, cooperative, not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way, so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life.

4.Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious-Star Wars

Yes, the Emperor deserves to be up here. Who else has destroyed an ENTIRE world? Well, Gran Moff Tarkin destroyed it, but it was his battle plans, his money, and they all worked for him so in a sense he destroyed it. Now it could be argued that he wasn't evil at all, that he merely was seeking peace throughout the galaxy...through dominating it. Then again River said it best, "People don't want to be meddled with." Never the less, he did introduce the world to Darth Maul, and you can't go wrong there. Hell, maybe I should just make this entry The Sith...

3.Hannibal Lector-Silence of the Lambs

What best villains list wouldn't be complete without our good Doctor Lector? The man was a sadist, cannibal, but he had an excellent singing voice and loved a great party...or was the Boss Grissom? At any rate, he almost made everyone's body run cold at even the sound of his voice. I think we do ok when killers are just machines, but when there is true genius behind it, then we are REALLY afraid.

2.General Zod-Superman I&II

General Zod, the only man on a highly evolved planet to really keep those dark urges and have the desire to rule the world with an iron fist, and he only needs two other people to do it. No grand army, no death star, just a mute and a muse. We all know Superman II had to be a lie, there is no way that that all powerful and mighty Zod could be that easily defeated by the son of Jor-El. Hell, maybe I shall name my son Zod so it can battle Nicolas Cage's son on the playground...if I ever have a son.

1.The Joker-Batman

How can you go against Jack Nicholson's personal favorite role of all time? True, I may not see it as the most accurate portrayal of The Joker, but it is much better then anything else that has been done. He really does bring the Joker to life, and as time goes on I am really looking forward to seeing what Heath Ledger is going to do. I keep reading his interviews and he's saying all the right things, so we shall see. Until then, Jack owns as the best live action Joker we've ever had (Mark Hamill is THE voice of the Joker, period). Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

Imma bad bad man

I came across this list of least intimidating movie villains earlier today and naturally I had an issue with it. OK, my issue is that dare put Zod on this list just because he isn't tall? Get real people. So naturally I decided to come up with my very own list, my very own top ten worst movie villains of all time, and unlike the other, this one will be numbered.

10.Mathias-The Omega Man.

He replaced Ben Cortman as the main villain opposite Neville, and was basically a TV personality who, when infected, turned it into a religious aspect and convinced others around him that they were "chosen". He speaks as if he was from 1302 instead of 1975 and is quite useless.

9. Mr. Freeze-Batman and Robin

Thank you Warner Brothers for almost ruining the Batman franchise. After the success of Tim Burton you were more concerned with what you could sell off the movie instead of the movie itself. You therefore made it campy and delivered to us a character with HORRIBLE lines, and turned a very interesting character into an abomination.

8. Mr. Glass-Unbreakable

I think I understand what M was trying to do with the opposite of Bruce Willis' character, but to just make the mine fragile is fuckin weak, especially when that man is mother fuckin Samuel L. I mean you can't take Shaft and make him into that kind of pussy, even if he is blowing up trains.

7. Greg Mamalard-Animal House

Yes, I chose this tool from Animal House. Is he a great foil, sure, but any man who can't get it up when around two beautiful women and is supposed to be one of the bad guys is just pathetic. It wasn't even that he was supposed to be gay; he just couldn't get it up. That and I just didn't understand how an asskiss like Greg can overcome Delta house.

6.The Nothing-The Neverending Story

Nothing, the big bad is...nothing. So basically there is going to be a big bad shadow crawling across the land and it's going to destroy everything...right. It's not even the Genesis Device? Hell, even the Fog had zombie pirates in the middle of this; this was just some punk kid not "believing" anymore.

5. Terl-Battlefield Earth

Now I don't want to be hunted down by you Scientology nuts out there, but this was ridiculous. John Travolta has looked goofy in almost every single movie he has ever been in (save where he is wearing your basic suit) and this is the frosting on the cake. An abortion of a movie and it pretty much single handedly sunk Barry Pepper's fast rising career.

4. Elektra King-The World Is Not Enough

Of course some sort of Bond villain had to make this list and I decided to give it to the former princess from France, Elektra King. So she's an ex-flame of Bond's who was kidnapped once, suffered the syndrome, and is banging the guy from the Full Monty who is trying to act tough as well. Excuse, I think I just found the cure to insomnia. I mean seriously, you go from Braveheart to this bastard of a film? Is anyone helping you decide what movies to make?

3. The Villains of Superman III

Now I tried finding an image of the lady who turns into some bad cyborg, but none could be found so here ya go. The big bad computer who knows its purpose in life. You would think that Superman would be smart enough to throw a boulder or something and just break the fucking thing, but then you would assume that this movie made any sense what so ever. The only good part was seeing Red Kryptonite; even Richard Pryor couldn't save this movie.

2. Laurel Hedare-Catwoman

Now I don't have an idea what this movie is really about because quite honestly I go out of my way to stay away from its physical presence. I mean I don't even like my things even touching its case. All I know is she's some model, beats up Halle Berry (who has managed to turn Catwoman into a stripper of some sort) and is worse in this then in Basic Instinct 2...allegedly. I mean really...someone needs to go on a killing spree over at the WB.

AND YOUR WINNER!!!
1. Nuclear Man-Superman IV

Technically this award is going to two individuals, Nuke Man 1 and Nuke Man 2. Though Nuke1 looked like some bastard version of Frankenstein, and one would hope a nod towards Bizarro, Nuke 2 with his feathery golden locks gets the picture...or circle gets a square. It should be of no surprise that one of the people who concocted this scheme was Duckie from Pretty in Pink. Truly the low point of Lex Luthor's glorious career. Now as I look at it, does anyone else think this guy reminds you of Lex Luger? Why couldn't we get the tag team of Zeus and Nuke together to face the Mega-Powers?

This inspired me so much I have a ten best villains prepared, but first, lunch.

Morning Meme

Freewheel did this and I need to post something while I get through all my other blogs so here it is, five things you may have not known about me.

1.My mother wanted to name me Reginald originally. My Grandfather, being an old native Texan responded, "I'm not havin no grandson named after a [censored]." I loved my grandfather, and he wasn't a racist person, just a quick reminder how only fifty years ago things were so different then they are now.

2.Did you know I always wanted to be a showgirl in Vegas? Not really, but I've been told it's scary how many movies I can quote, and that are my actual verbage most of the time.

3.I am torn over which is worse, the racism of Bear fan or the homophobia of Tony Dungy.

4.I have decided to put off going to CSB in the spring so I won't miss any of my last full season in the Potomac Division.

5. My father's players when I was really little, say 2-5, nicknamed me Bear after my father's favorite coach Bear Bryant.

By popular request

Interspecies Eortica

Yes, that is none other then Harry Potter in a promo shot for Equus that opens this month. Now we could talk about the disturbing aspect of this (kid is still very young, old women being attracted to this young kid ((read the comments))) or we can branch this off into other avenues of discussion. Though the older ladies reactions makes me think once again why is when we hear about teachers having sex with students lately it always turns out to be a pretty good looking woman having sex with a child. No, this goes into the other news story this week about a horse, Barbaro.

The horse that was undefeated, but had only one major win, died this week when doctors decided to put him down due to the pain, or so they claim. Apparently many people are saddened by the passing of this horse. I understand loving animals, and I understand being sad when something tragic and inhuman happens to them, like the Silver Spring Monkeys, but this I don't understand. I really wonder if this is just another case of the MSM making a big fluff piece to distract you from the real issues in the world.

On a side note, it's nice to see that Harry Potter is following in the steps of Mr. Spock, but he needs to avoid hobbits if he can. He's already come dangerously close being a sorcerer and all, but if he makes a song from Ron or Fang then it's all downhill from there. At any rate he needs to talk to Mark Hamill about professional options after a role you’re typecast for is officially over. He may need to talk with William Shatner as well as to what to avoid initially, see Kingdom of Spiders.

Mooninites

If you haven't heard about this yet, you must be living under a rock. Hell, if you've never even heard of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force lord knows where you've been for the last few years...meatwad. ATHF has a movie coming out relatively shortly and they did these promos in ten other cities. Of course the pathetically afraid person sees it, flips out, and all hell breaks loose. The best thing about it that is get pub, and this interview...

Hello, is your name Johnny?

Then again, this may be the greatest thing ever on the internet...other then pron

The most disgusting thing about Iraq

Anita and I were discussing this very issue recently and I wanted to bring this to everyone's attention.

Via Bob Gieger:
RIP Jonathan Schulze, I hope you now have the peace you were missing in this lifetime.

It makes me sick to hear these right-wingers complain about people not supporting the troops when it is their god damn president who only supports them while they serve. No president has ever cut the funding for the VA like Dubya has.

I think about all the good we could have done for this country with the money he has just thrown to Darth's company (Halliburton) and various other things in Iraq. How many great and wonderful projects that could have helped this country become a glowing example for the rest of the world, and it makes me sick that they spent it on greed and arrogance.

I want to thank Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND), for finally bringing this to the Senate floor. It's sad that not even the Marine's own Senators brought this to the floor.